Women's size an issue for men??

[WoodchipWall]

I posted earlier today '32, no future........' had some great advice and tips. Thanks to all those that gave their time to help me.

I have also read the thread '27, no sex drive........' and the little debate that has started due to the OPs preference for petitie, size 6-10 women.

I mentioned in my post that I need to lose weight, probably a good 2.5/3 stones so am what is classed as a larger lady, size 14/16.

My reason for starting this one is, well, is this a make or break issue for guys? I've also battled with my weight. I comfort eat and pile it on and then get to a point where I'm truly disgusted with myself and lose weight from there.....I'm getting to that point now.

Although, I'm not in the right frame of mind to be searching for a new relationship just yet, I really am interested to know other people's opinions on this.

I have found in the past, despite whether I'm slim-ish or larger, I always seem to attract attention from men.........thin men, bigger men, tall/short etc etc.

Thought it might be interesting to gauge people's reactions, opinions on this??? What do you think?

I know that Burlington. However 25 plus is notclassed as healthy. Its that term i was correcting. It is overweight. Plus it does increase your risk of health problems of you have a disposition to them.

I don't think BMI, weight or dress size are actually accurate ways for an individual to monitor their health unless you are trying to diagnose obesity etc.

What I think is better are good actual knowledge about healthy eating and fitness, doing exercise and measuring the actual levels of subcutaneous fat in key places and using key measurements to work out the size of your skeleton (wrist circ etc) so you can more easily and accurately monitor your fat levels and a healthy weight.

People have very different frames and builds. If you have a very small frame and fat rather than muscle you will be lighter than those who have a very big frame and a lot of muscle but are the same height. One is better for your health than the other!

People who are underweight can still have high cholesterol and damaging fat % as well as other problems as a consequence of their low weight.

When I worked out based on my height and frame measurements what my bone structure weighed it was more than the bottom end of my supposedly healthy BMI range and that shocked me into realising just how impossible it would be to weigh as little as I was trying to when I was younger.

Firstly 'men' have different preferences, so your not going to find some universal truth here especially since your asking a forum which consists of mainly women so hardly the target audiance.

Also for some men size is an issue and what is wrong with liking women of certain sizes is it any different to women having their own physical preferences. In the thread with the 27 year old guy what some of the posters were saying was laughable he liked a size 10 on short women (5ft) and people were telling he he likes dangerously underweight women.......

..despite whether I'm slim-ish or larger, I always seem to attract attention from men.........thin men, bigger men, tall/short etc etc.
so what is your worry in this case?

Not worried as such, just wondered what other's opinions were on this. I'm in a very low mood/unstable frame of mind right now so think it was just me wondering that's all. Thanks for giving your opinions all......it seems we're all very different with different preferences and that's that....seems very simple when written out.....:)

Some people have v definite preferences as to type. I don't and I know other men and women who don't.

Yep everyone is so different. I don't have a type. Although I've mainly ended up with toned, fit men. I'm not adverse to cuddly men. It's just so happens I've met those types.

I've been all sizes due to pregnancy over my marriage....so good job dh isn't fussed either. But I know he wasn't previously.

Things change as you age. The ideal body-type I would find very attractive would be extremely fit, muscley 20 something, but I wouldn't date a man this age now I am in my forties. Secondly, even people who conformed to my type when I was twenty-something don't now unless they spend their entire lives working out, even the really fit guys (40-50 years) have less muscle tone and a few wrinkles. I don't think now: which body type would I like to spend 50 years with, but which person (as a whole) would I like to spend 50 years with? All this: I like this, I like that, it's fun to be with people you find sexy and attractive but increasingly I don't see this as a big a deal as I did when I was younger and more superficial and had my fair share of muscley but not alway scintillating boyfriends

I am 6-8, which is what DP met. During pregnancy I gained 3st. DP still couldn't get enough of me. Now I have lost the weight he is begging me not to lose more.
I had an ex who would have starved me given half a chance.
Find a man who likes you as you are. Men all have their own preferences! Don't change for anyone!

Im a long term MNer whos name changed. Im 5"5 and in 2001 i weighed 21 stone and was a size 28.
I dieted down to 10 stone 12 pounds and a size 12/14. Now no matter what i did i could NOT get any smaller than that. Im quite curvy and have very big boobs I went from a size 46G down to a 34F.
In dieting so hard and losing the weight so quickly i ended up with gallstones. Now i realise being obese i could have got those anyway but the surgeon told me i had accelerated it by dieting so hard.
And i still had people calling me fat at a size 14 after having been through all that.

Im now a size 18 and im trying to lose weight again but im taking my time this time.
I was on a night out recently and a bloke started chatting me up saying i had lovely curves. i was quite shocked Usually i hear the opposite when i walk past pubs.
He asked if i was single. I told him i was married (didnt tell him marriage has been sexless for years ive talked about that in previous threads on here) i was flattered and told him so.
Then he kept offering to give me a lift home and he did seem really lovely but being a sensible girl i thanked him and went to the taxi rank around the corner.
Now i KNOW i did the right thing but i feel depressed about it. It was nice to feel desired and wanted.
All i did that night was wear some make up and a decent bra which lifted my boobs up properly. He was a muscly and very manly looking bloke. I have dated lots of different looking men .
Theres this thing called sexual chemistry and its not just based on looks alone.

Thank you for sharing darkesteyes.........I know ill never be slim Jim but just would like to be.more comfortable with myself xxx

Me too Woodchip. I just want to be comfortable and a bit more confident with myself and i just want to be loved for who i am and to feel desired and wanted again.

Im 8st 3lb and 5'5 so usually a size 8. I feel fat when my weight goes up a few pounds. Not because it's fat but because I have a small frame and any weight gain immediately shows. My dp would never comment on any weight gain I had unless really significant ie, unhealthy but I know he prefers slim women.

All men have their preferences, but there are cultural preferences as well.

In the culture I grew up in (oriental), attractiveness is strongly equated with slimness. There isn't the same fixation on boobs. Can't have it all!

I have asked my DH about this numerous times and he does not think size is a deal breaker. However, I know he would want me to be healthy and if I started to get fat and it was affecting the way I felt about myself he would encourage me to get fit and eat well because he knows I would feel better for it (although he would not focus on the weight as an issue).

Extremes are less likely to be found attractive, but of course some people will. Confidence & a great personality are attractive. I know a woman who was a tall, blonde size 8 & couldn't figure out why men didn't go for her or tended to a couple of dates only but it was obvious to the rest of us that she was a self absorbed arsehole

DP would like me a little slimmer, but would never push it. I'd also like him to lose the tummy / dress better, but again, pretty trivial in the scheme of a 10 year relationship

Oh and I hate BMI. At 9st 6lbs and training heavily, I was into 'overweight' BMI at just uni 5' tall. I was also on the small end of a size 8 with a 4" waste [wistful emoticon]

Its one of those questions to which there are no easy answers. Confidence is key though, in my opinion.

I was a slim, curvy, absolutely gorgeous size 10 when I met my husband (12 yrs ago). I went up to a 16-18, flabby, comfort- eating MESS after our first child was born and he still adored and was sexually attracted to me. But I felt like shit. I was a large 14 for several years. Still, he wanted me. Still, I felt like crap. I am now a size 12, begining to work out and take pride in my appearnace after six years of child bearing and breastfeeding. I feel hotter than ever. My DH has noticed and we are definitely having better sex and intimacy, but in our case it is all down to ME. I feel better and it has impacted positively on our relationshio.

Having said that, there are men out there who are hung up on size, definitely. I have dated guys who freaked if I put on half a stone. I call them WANKERS.

nd the cultural thing is strong. My husband is West Indian and they tend to like 'thickness', ie. hips, thighs, bum. My thickness increased post kids so my husband actualky found my body even more attractuve. Western culture tends to dictate that Barbie figures are sexy...hey ho

Overall I agree that it's about body confidence.

I'm at my heaviest now, but even then only about half a stone over healthy BMI. I'm a size 10/12, and am 5'2". But to me I might as well be 50 stone, that's how huge and unattractive I feel..it's terrible. My mother was and is pretty fattist and I grew up with women talking and worry about their weight. It is my dearest wish that my daughter grows up without these hang ups and I never talk about my weight or 'diets', only about feeling and being healthy.

My dh fancies me fat or thin and like others on here I've been a size 8 to a 16. If he'd say anythinghe'd say he wished I was less self conscious.

I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that, however, I don't like double standards. Example, DH and I were having dinner with our friends and the female half was saying about how if she has a pudding or biscuit, her DH says 'should you be eating that?' and he is doing it alot at the moment and it upsets her. She is gorgeous, slim and tall. If she was on a diet and had asked him to help that would be different, but she isn't and doesn't need to be. Meanwhile, her DH wants a pudding every day and tucks in merrily. I found that a bit much. He has a hatred of fatness, but even so....

As for me, having just had a baby via an unwanted c-sec and gorgeous as he is DC2 not sleeping, I am sore and unable to exercise in the way I want. I am a size 14 and DH thinks I am gorgeous at sizes 10-14, but I feel like I'm a size 20. I just want to return to a 10-12. I could almost be reading about myself on your post proudnscary, my Mum has alot to answer for with my lack of self esteem.

I don't get BMI. Right now I have a BMI of a 26, which is overweight. Yet, I'm a size 12, at just over 5 foot 6. I still have 16lbs to go to get to a healthy BMI, but I'm really starting to like my "new" body (always found myself too skinny when I was younger, and I like my curves now)....However I want to be healthy. Urgh.

My mum is the same After struggling to get down to 12/14 from a 28 (and like i said upthread no more would come off no matter what i did) she presented me with some size 10 clothes.

Different people - of both sexes - like different things. Lord knows there have been enough threads in which women have said they don't find their partners attractive because they've put on weight.

BMI is an epidemiological tool that gets misused to target individuals. Its best use is in looking at patterns within populations, not for applying to individuals. A load of atheletes come out as obese using BMI.