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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone got any friends they don't like introducing to their new man?

25 replies

toptramp · 31/08/2012 22:45

By and large my friends are ok. Some are bloody fantastic but there are one or two who I don't trust around my man. One has dated a few of her exes mates and seems to take an excesive interest in any men that I like and even competes. There are a few comments.
I have no problem introducing some friends to a georgeous new man but some of them do sniff around. One friend commented kept telling me on how my ex was amazing and how he asked her out once we had finshed. In fact this has happened with one or two mates. Am I being over sensitive and how do you put pay to any mates who might seem to be sniffing around for opportunities?

OP posts:
Helltotheno · 31/08/2012 22:57

My mates can sniff around for opportunities all they want (not that they would), if he cops off, he's responsible for that!

If you're that worried, pick a man with a great personality rather than great looks :)

Proudnscary · 31/08/2012 23:05

You're the OP whose friends allegedly encourage you to cheat right? You posted the other night. Either you're a troll or you have really shit friends. And repeated use of the phrase 'sniffing around' is quite unpleasant.

IvanaNap · 31/08/2012 23:07

Sounds like the stuff of trashy mags. Oh wait...

worldcitizen · 31/08/2012 23:09

Shite friends. never never ever would I start something with a friend's man, not even after they are done!!!!!

something2say · 31/08/2012 23:11

I don't think you are being over sensitive at all. I think if your friends are behaving this way, they are not very good friends.

What I would do is - withdraw from those friends and stop thinking they might be good to you behind your back like a real friend would. I would assess my relationship and ee if I think the 'gorgeous' man is also trustworthy. I prefer a man who doesn't know he is gorgeous actually! I would then get a new group of girlfriends and recognise that women don't compete with one another. ;) Good luck and have fun!

crackcrackcrak · 31/08/2012 23:12

God no! My best friends and I have vastly different taste in men!
I am much more worried my friends won't like him personality wise - because they are always right if they think he's a knob

worldcitizen · 31/08/2012 23:12

Before there are any misunderstandings I wouldn't start something with anyone's man, for that matter. Any attached man showing interest in me, would not even be called a friend or mate anymore.
And yes, it is that easy to get rid!!!!

toptramp · 31/08/2012 23:15

My man isn't the one who shows an interest.My current man any way. It just irritaes me when I feel that my single friends take an interest and bat their eyelashes etc.

OP posts:
toptramp · 31/08/2012 23:17

Also I have a friend who tends to go after attched men even though she has never made a play for mine. It's her morals I don't dig. Some of these friends are quite clingy too. I live in a small town so sometimes they are hard to escape.

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 31/08/2012 23:17

Toptramp isn't a troll, she has posted for as far back as I can remember.

These friends aren't really friends. Making comments about your ex asking them out are in poor taste. Distance yourself, spend time with the genuine ones.

worldcitizen · 31/08/2012 23:30

toptramp I had a friend once who was really good with cooking, baking, and general home economics stuff. I wasn't and still am no pro.
Many many moons ago when I met my ex-husband, I all of the sudden got this weird feeling about introducing her to him. I didn't know why...

They met, we were invited to her place for a little dinner...and you know what she really, I couldn't believe it, started to mock me and ridicule me for my non-existent home-economics skills Angry and she sort of started to flirt with him. I was livid. She had no history doing that before. But she wanted to get married and start a family desperately. Needless to say, after observing her for a while, she was dumped as a family friend and friend alltogether.

izzyizin · 31/08/2012 23:30

With a name like yours I would have thought you were more than capable of seeing off the opposition Grin

When your 'friends' bat their false eyelashes at your man, just bat them out of the way.

dequoisagitil · 31/08/2012 23:33

You get new friends or a man you can trust.

Mintyy · 31/08/2012 23:35

You make it sound like introducing your mates to a gorgeous new man is a regular thing. Unfortunately I can't relate to, comment on, or even remember what that was like Smile.

Latara · 01/09/2012 01:05

Same here, Mintyy (sob!)...

izzyizin · 01/09/2012 01:13
mirry2 · 01/09/2012 01:15

I hatw the phrase 'sniffing around'.

GoodHeavensNo · 01/09/2012 01:17

No my friends are all decent people and I trust them. That why they're my friends :)

Pinkforever · 01/09/2012 08:38

tramp-this is just the latest in a loooooooooooong line of men-really why do you care?-you'll be to the next one soon enough. Stay safe.....

toptramp · 01/09/2012 08:58

It is by no means the latest in a long line of men. I have had one bf in 4 years since ddand not much luck since then. What it is is a long line of observing the morality of various friends and I will not be onto the next one if this dosn't work out any time soon. I did have a long line of men in my early 20s but I am 34 now and much more catious/choosy. Hence my very hot, sexy, delicious, intelligent man!

OP posts:
toptramp · 01/09/2012 08:58

Not much luck before then I meant.

OP posts:
Concentrateonthegood · 01/09/2012 11:08

I had a three month fling with someone earlier this year and when my friend was introduced to him, her flirting was horrendous and embarrassing. Even though the relationship didn't develop, he had eyes only for me so wasn't a problem but I was a bit aghast at how she was. I'd never do that to someone. However, she does tend to be like this round men generally so its normal for her - just was surprised she did it to someone I was seeing.

Pinkforever · 01/09/2012 16:16

Apologies then as I must be confusing you with another poster-was it not you who was posting about lusting after a geezer who clearly wasnt interested?....

toptramp · 01/09/2012 17:27

Might have been me Pink; normally happens! Ultimately If I was more secure I wouldn't hav eto worry so much about any flirty mates. It is a pain when women treat each other like this though.

OP posts:
Athendof · 01/09/2012 17:35

Everytime I hear a woman whose friends may/will/have slep with her partner, I always think that it is not such an issue of bad frirnds bug ghd woman being attracted to crap men. Sorry.

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