Quick question about custody

[TallDwarf]

Who normally gets custody? Would a sahm have more chance of having the child the majority of the time?

Whoever was the main carer prior to a relationship breaking down is most likely to continue being the main carer afterwards provided there are not overwhelming child safety issues. But it does depend a lot on the situation, and in many (most?) cases it doesn't end up requiring a court order.

Can you give a bit more detail?

Courts are now veering more to start off at 50/50 residency.

Just wondering aloud really. Not sure if me and dp will work together for much longer, we're arguing a lot more and I feel like I'm pissing him off all the time.
I'm sahm to ds, dp works full time. I'd want to be able to co parent as much as possible for ds's sake but I have a history of depression and can imagine dp maybe using that against me if we did split.

If he asks for 50/50 residency through the courts then he's likely to get it, but he won't get more than that.

If he threatens to use your depression as a weapon then let him, the courts won't be too worried about that and he still won't get more than 50/50.

How old is dc?

A history of mental illness is no more a barrier to custody than a history of physical illness. Provided you're well and/or your condition has been stabilised with the right treatment, there's no reason to suppose it would be held against you.

I know courts are veering more towards joint residency but that's by no means the same as 50:50.

Ds is 2. Dp is a good dad but rarely has time with ds on his own unless I really push for it.
If custody goes 50/50 would I get any mantenance for ds off dp?

I can be a bit up and down though cogito and my doctors have it all on record. It's nothing terrible and I always manage to make sure ds is well looked after

It used to be the more overnights he has then the less maintenance.

If your illness is monitored and controlled and if you have no history of harming or neglecting either yourself or your child then you should not be discriminated against.

I do have history of harming myself and a few failed suicide attempts but that was before ds came along. I've cut a couple of times since and have suicidal feelings but not acted on them.
I'm scared he'll be taken away from me. Wish I hadn't been so honest with doctors and HVs :(

Well each case can be looked at separately. My ex got no contact due to suicide attempts ( but he had threatened to take dc with him) so you see, different circs

Would your partner take it to court do you think? Could he afford a new home, maintenance AND expense of court?

being honest is good as it shows you recognize the issues and act to prevent harm to your child.
depression and well managed/treated mh with you showing insight into your cnodition is not a barrier to being parent.

feelign suicidal but getting help is quite different to making threats if another person does x or y... - that is quite different from having no insight and behaving just as you like or making suicide threats such as "if you leave i will kill myself" which is what my ex did.