I'm having an affair with my husband!

[lonelyandlost]

I think I have finally lost the plot. I've just got out of my husbands bed and I feel awful. He left me for another woman last year. She's still around part time (obviously not tonight). We have been having casual sex for the last couple of months. I know its wrong and I feel dreadful. But I am so lonely. My life is limited by my son and my fears about entering a new relationship. Sex with him seems somehow easier. Most of the time I am fine on my own its just every so often I need that physical closeness.

Has anyone else been here? please be kind, I'm really low at the moment.

Big sympathy l&l, I sometimes think it would be tempting to bonk ex-H too, because I know he's got a big todger!!!!
If you are feeling low & a bit sick with yourself for sleeping with your ex - make the break. Get on the internet & go out for dates, feel attractive & desirable but with other men.
Although you might be getting physical contact with your ex, I'm sure you deserve a lot better than what he can offer you. Don't feel limited by your ds, feel liberated. AT least the next guy you meet is going to know you are interested in him & not just looking for a sperm donor before your eggs run out!

Tried a date and it was disastorous!!! where do you meet normal men?

Just need to sort myself out. I know this is all very sordid and that he will carry on sleeping with both of us if given half a chance.

Feel so low, can't stop crying. When will this ever end?

Tried a date and it was disastorous!!! where do you meet normal men?

Just need to sort myself out. I know this is all very sordid and that he will carry on sleeping with both of us if given half a chance.

Feel so low, can't stop crying. When will this ever end?

Tried a date and it was disastorous!!! where do you meet normal men?

Just need to sort myself out. I know this is all very sordid and that he will carry on sleeping with both of us if given half a chance.

Feel so low, can't stop crying. When will this ever end?

HI L and L
You know the answer to the question, it will end when you take control of the situation and stop doing it. I know, easier to say than done.. i can totally appreciate the incentive to keep doing it, almost like you have something to prove!

But there will come a point when you say enough is enough.
Give yourself time to grieve and to recover. Then hit the dating scene!

Just cos you had one disastrous date you can't write the whole thing off... you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince ( i've said that before on MN but personally find it quite comforting, god knows I've kissed enough frogs...)

Have you thought any more about 'dumping' your husband? Could give you the opportunity to get control back of the situation?

I'm afraid I have sunk even lower and told him I want to try again!!! god knows what I'm doing! he tells me he won't risk trying again with me so I have my answer.

NO you havent sunk lower - you are quite rightly confused cos your husband left BUT is still havin sex with you

You asked to try again cos you quite rightly confused sex with still wanting a relationship

he has said no so you should NEVER have sex with him again

I can say this cos although not had sex with ex since left Nov, he has been confusing me with his actions so I too asked him to come home "coming home to you & the children would be a step backwards"
thanks tosser

be strong now & never think of him in that way again

[[huigs]]

I've been where you are with an ex. We lived together for 18 months and he left me for another woman (18 years his junior). We had sex regularly for about 3 months before I realised I deserved more than that. In a peverse way, I felt I was hurting her.

Don't feel bad and don't beat yourself up. ONly you can decide when and if you want to stop it

lonelyandlost

I have to admit, I don't have any personal experience in this field but your husband is having his cake....and eating it!!!

You may think that every single guy out there is weird or not for you at the moment but that's probably because you're comparing everyone to your ex. I don't believe in just having random sex with just anyone to make yourself feel better-I think that will make you feel worse!!!

My suggestion is that you need time for yourself without a man so you can "regroup your forces", ready for battle again. Rebounding from man to man will only cheapen you, and you're so much better than that!!!

Arrange a girls night in with your friends-loads of stupid movies and snacks or just plenty of wine!!! Whatever floats your boat. Go to a spa, do whatever you do to make yourself feel good-you'll soon realise you don't need a man to make you feel good!!!

Hope this helps!!! xxx

Perhaps we should start a new topic were women recommend their single, decent friends!!!

I have been on my own for a little while now and most of the time I am fine. I do miss the physical intimacy though and thats were the x comes in. I am in no doubts that if I had a new relationship I would not be in this situation. Part of me does see this as taking what I want from him for a change. But the other part of me gets very hurt by the whole situation. Its just the thought of meeting a new man or entering a new relationship is terrifying as this one has hurt so much.

Does this make any sense?

Makes perfect sense to me. I think it's a case of 'better the devil you know'. Also when you feel rejected by someone, there's nothing that makes you feel better than being wanted by them again. Unfortunately it's a very quick fix and leaves you feeling empty and used afterwards ( well it does me anyway)

I split up from by bf about 2 months ago, and have fallen into bed with him 3 times since. We spoke yesterday and i said I couldn't do it anymore. Really determined that it won't happen again now!

PS good idea about website to recommend single decent men. Alas I have no-one to recomend but my dad!

How old is your dad?

64!