My Shit Life.

[Janos]

I don't know where to start, but everything seems to be going wrong at the moment.

Financially, things are terrible, as I've had to sign a Protected Trust Deed but I'm actually seeing this as a way out of the mire I'm in. Solictors Letters and CCJs are piling up as we speak.

I'm a single mum, and my Ex is being an arse about access. He won't agree to a more formal arrangement so that I can plan ahead and at least have something resembling a social life.

Finally, work are basically on the verge of giving me the boot, basically saying my work is not up to standard and I am upsetting people in the office with my attitude.

I do not know what the hell I'm going to do. I've got no family nearby and no friends in a similar situation - all happily coupled up with children.

Can anyone offer any words of comfort or advice? Please? This is only the tip of the iceberg.

not sure what to say that will make you feel better, just that the title of your post made me sad and I'm sorry you're having such a shitty time.

What would be the easiest thing for you to tackle? I'm thinking you should tackle the work situation head on, look at it honestly and make some changes.

What sort of job do you have?

The only thing I suggest is tackle one thing at a time - might make you feel the mountain is not too high to climb!

Thank you for posting mogwai.

I just found out about the work thing today, got a big chat from my Line Manager and her boss. Apparently people have been made uncomfortable by me receiving personal phone calls and stuff, casuing an unpleasant atmosphere. So I'm making a concentrated effort to curtail this. Its kind of a problem because we don't really have anywhere private to talk except in the loos. I'm mortified that people have felt the need to complain but I guess I can accept this.

Plus a couple of other things about work not being done (yes, this has slipped, again fair enough).

Also an issue with hours, very complex and don't want to go into it because anyone who knows me and happened to post here could identify me from it.

Its come as a nasty surprise because I have been making a real effort. I've also had a lot of time off through stress so I'm worried they may be trying to get rid of me.

right - the acess thing - why can't you legally formalise the arrangements?

or have a social life and if he doesn't like you dicking him around instead of visa versa then tell him to make formal arrangments - either way you shouldnt still be at his whim.

work - ok maybe your in the wrong - but you need the job and you need the money - so accept whatever formal disciplinary is about to come your way - look up your disciplinary policy - is it a verbal a written then out? you need to know.

if you get a warning - which you should do if this hasn't happened before - then take this as an opportunity to get them on the other foot.

keep a diary of ofhand comments, increased workload - anything which may help your case in the future. or indeed anything which may help your case in the present.

go on the attack - its you fault - but holding your hands up and saying " fair cop" aint going to get the bills paid

i dont know what a deed thing is - but if your debts are so very bad maybe you should bankrupt yourself?

Custardo, I think you're absolutely right.

I'm actually keeping a copy of all correspondence from my LM (some of which is quite threatening in tone), and I'm printing it out and filing it.

great advice Custardo.

(she's much arsier than me, I'm just passing you the tissues, she's being much more useful!)

sounds like you really need some support at the moment.

Have you shared all this with anyone else?

Aw, thanks mogwai, I think that I need both attitude and tissues right now!

TBH I can understand why work have raised these issues but I'm very upset with the way they've done it. A bit bullied TBH.

did you say that to them?

I'm guessing not, you were probably too shocked/upset to think straight.

Everything looks shit right now, but I think you can get hold of this and sort it out. I think you have exactly the right attitude by taking the flak. I got pulled up for something years ago (dawdling between hospital sites in a job I loathed) and I just admitted the whole thing and said I wouldn't do it again.

They were floored (thought I'd be defensive).

Keep yer chin up love!