Why am i so unhappy when i have everything some people want?

[LittleSugaPlum]

Im 25years old, been married 2 months, am almost 34weeks pregnant with first child.

I havent worked for nearly 12months, i used to work long hours and shift work in a care home for a fair few years.
When i met DH over 12 months ago he was working on his own business (24hour emergency service) from home. This includes alot of website buliding, inconvienent phone calls 24hours a day. DH works from home.

My name is joint with the business and i get a very good wage, although i dont have much to do with the business, i do help with taking the calls.

DH tries to get me involved with the business like articles etc and page buliding but i just dont have any interest in it, so its left to him.

I moved 45mins away from my home town, and he did the same as he felt being in this particular area would really boost our income and benefit the business.

However two of my friends dropped me without warning or explaining why, and to be honest im not a good mixer and they were really my only friends.

Because im away from family etc, im stuck in doors 24hours a day, whilst hubby is in office all the time. We have a lovely home (although rented) and we live in a nice area. The baby will want for nothing, i ve done the nursery up lovely, but im still not happy.

I have horrendeous SPD so going for walks or to the supermarket leaves me in agony for days afterwards.

We know bits of the area, but not very well as we rarely go out. I go to my mums once a week.

When i suggest going out with DH, it always has to be at certain times and certain days when he feels the phone calls will be quiet, although as you never know when the calls are coming in, this is unpredictable. He wont go out friday, saturday or sunday as this is when the calls are really busy and the money that is brought in is high.

I sit on the computer ALL day, rather on facebook or on here.

I have a history of depression and fear that it will come back if i continue like this, and im also worried that i may develop PND.

I feel i should be lucky that i dont have to go to work, yet still have a nice home and be comfortably financially, but i just feel so miserable.

You need more in your life

Why are you indoors 24 hours a day? Even with your health issues there must be things you can do

You need a hobby,something to occupy your mind that doesn't involve being sat at the pc for so long.

Because i dont know anyone in the area, and dont really know the area very well.

DH and i rarley socialise or go out together as he worries about losing money when we are out by not taking calls.

If we do go to the supermarket and a customer rings, he wants us to finish the shopping asap, even if it means missing bits so we can go home and sort the job out.

Our life is ruled by the business and the stupid fones!! They even go off several times in the night, and it can take awhile for me to fall back to sleep then :-(

Material stuff only goes so far. What makes for a happy life are friends, family and having a purpose in life. You've dropped your job, your friends have faded away and moved to another area, away from family, where you don't do anything or know anyone except your husband. So you're reliant on him for everything and, if he's not paying you any attention, no wonder you're miserable. When the baby arrives you'll have to make an effort to get to know new people. There are pre and post-natal groups you can attend...they're not bad places to meet people. But do sit your DH down and tell him how you feel. Start as you mean to go on. No-one needs to work 24/7

I think you need to actively improve your life, only you can do that.

Go out and explore your local area, join some clubs or interest groups, make a realy effort to socialise and meet new people.

I ve told DH several times, he promised that every wed we would do something together, i think this lasted less that 2 weeks.

He has his children aged 8 and 10 every sat and even they are bored when they come here as DH sits in the office when they are here, and they just watch DVDs or play in their room upstairs.

He will only take the kids out if i run the business for the day which to be honest i struggle to do on my own.

So, in the space of 12 months, you're having his baby, moved to a different town, given up your job and only now you're realising that family isn't big on his priorities? Ever heard of 'marry in haste repent at leisure'? Ask your old mates again why they're not talking to you and don't be surprised if they don't like your husband.

I still don't understand why you can't go out in the day time. If you're only 45 minutes from your family/friends why can't you visit? Or meet them halfway for a coffee or something? It does sound as if you're isolating yourself somewhat.

Why don't you have a look at the NCT (or similar) in your area? I went along to some bumps and babes groups when I was heavily pregnant and met lots of people with babies and some who were also pregnant. It also gave me somewhere familiar to go with the new baby when he came along.

Your SPD can't be helping with feelings of depression, along with pregnancy hormones.

You do sound very isolated, and you must miss your friends. Once you have the baby, there are lots of groups to go to (or NCT does pre-natal groups?), so you will maybe have more opportunity to meet new people (I have met some wonderful friends through Mums & Tots!)

Do you drive? Could you do online shopping, so that when you do go out with DH, you are doing nice things together, rather than the grocery shopping?

You also need to get your DH to set some boundaries about his work. For example, if he is working on a Saturday, get him to do the office work in the morning and stop at 1pm. He may be feeling the full burden of the business, since you don't have much enthusiasm, and this could be adding to the pressure he is putting on himself.

you need to get out and meet people - have you thought about pre-natal yoga? i think it's very gentle and can help with spd. it's not healthy to make your dh your only company for going out.

If i go out in the daytime, even if its just to the local shops, im in agony for days afterwards, and even struggle to drive home it can be that bad.

I do drive, but dont go to my home town more than once a week as i get really bad back pain when in the car for more than half hour.

Where will i find these baby groups?

DH wont stop at 1pm on a sat as he loses too much money and hes very money minded. He wasnt like this when i met him as the business was just starting off and he didnt get much money from it.

It only started to develop last christmas.

My mums just rang, and i burst into tears and as my sister is away who lives there, she suggested i stay there for afew days for company. So im going there tomoz till sunday.

When i moved, i still made the effort to see my two friends, they never saw me any less.

I'm glad you are going to stay with your Mum, you need a bit of tlc.

I had spd, and know how debilitating it is. The good news was that mine improved dramatically once I had given birth.

All the local M&T groups round me were run by churches (but the groups themselves were not overtly religious).