I am putting this here rather than in Elderly Parents as it gets more traffic. So much to say, but will try to keep it short. I am desperately ill, with multiple conditions which are made worse by stress and anxiety. DH and DS1 are disabled. DS2 is fine. I am the family breadwinner, but struggle to work full-time, due to my chronic condition.
DM is in her 80s and lives on her own, a long way from her children. She has been pretty well and fit since my DF died some years ago. She had loads of friends and went out a lot and seemed reasonably happy. We all visited as often as we could. I went a lot and enjoyed seeing her.
About a year ago, she started going downhill. Basically, she decided that she had had enough and stopped eating enough food. My illness got worse and I couldn't visit as often and so I didn't see her for some months. We have just got back from a visit and I was horrified by her condition and the state of her house. She is now emaciated and the house is a tip. We did our best to clean it up.
Now my brother has been and tells me that she is back in the same state, with mouldy food and pots everywhere and general mess and filth. She has told him that she wants to die and that she doesn't really care about the impact on us.
My DM was more than a mother, she was my best friend through so many difficulties. But I now feel so angry towards her. I can't handle what is happening and have collapsed in bed, feeling horribly nauseous and retching. I feel like a monster in that I wish it were all over. I want to cut her out of my life so I can cope and go back to work, but an cant do that for the sake of my siblings. I don't suppose anyone can help really, but I just need to get things off my chest!