Breastfeeding and relationships

[jenrose29]

How did/does breastfeeding affect your relationship? DD2 is 12 weeks old and we've been having sex since she was 4 weeks, every day and all is good ;-) We co-sleep so not as many cuddles for DP and I at night, I don't mind as prefer space to sleep but he misses it. He changes some nappies, I do everything else. Only problem I have is the assumption that every time she cries with him he passes her back and says she's hungry! And that he rocks her when holding her so she falls asleep which messes up the routine I have when he's at work. Other than that it's a vast improvement - with DD1 and my ex-husband I hated him by this stage! How does breastfeeding affect your relationship?

You mean apart from squirting my boyfriend in the eye with breast-milk at a particularly passionate moment? I think all you're describing is a pretty natural situation of a man that isn't totally comfortable around very small babies whilst you're an experienced mother of 2. He's having to learn fast and only has the starts and ends of days to do so, whilst you've got years under your belt and are with the baby 24/7 If you have the baby in a routine and want her to stick to it, explain it rather than expecting him to know not to rock her to sleep. If she's not hungry and she cries, explain that as well and get him to try other methods of calming her.

It's changed our marriage for the better. DH respects me a lot more, before if I asked him to help, or do something he would question it or huff and puff, but now he just gets on and does it. Think he's realised just how much I do and how hard it is. I fully breastfeed dd and change nappies, basically do everything. I only ask him to hold her while I do something or put washing out for me etc.

We don't have much sex. Only because we both get so tired. He gently winds me up about it, but would never be nasty or forceful about the issue. Dd is 4.5 months old and I could count on one hand how many times we've had sex since she was born. Getting pregnant again plays some part in fear of having sex some of the time. Can't use any hormonal contraception, so been using the withdrawal method as far too tired to be bothered to faff about with condoms etc.

We co sleep and dd takes up half of the bed so we are seriously uncomfortable most of the time. We have cuddles when she's in her cot, but we soon nod off.

He's taken her downstairs two or three times so I could have a bit of a lie in and he's happy to entertain her.

He's a brilliant dad and I love him more now then ever before. I feel its definitely strengthen our marriage, not sure what he thinks.

I have nearly 8 year old dd from previous relationship and I had split up with her dad when she was Dd2's age.

I don't think breastfeeding is affecting your relationship - having a newborn baby is!
Breastfeeding had no impact on our relationship, even though I've been breastfeeding non-stop for 5 1/2 years!