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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So hurt....

29 replies

Twiggy71 · 29/08/2012 21:16

Hi
I have had a friend now for the last 3 years who I consider to be a best friend we've been on holiday together, we work together go on days out do lunch etc etc..

Recently her son has gotten married, so I have went with her to help her pick her outfit, listened to stories of some of the difficulties she has had with her dil even fed her cat on the big day.

We have helped each other through our ups and downs including my separation with my EA exh which I will always be grateful for.

Went to work this morning and was looking forward to seeing my df ds's wedding photo's and there she is posing with 2 of her friends ( now I had assumed it had only been family invited to the wedding ). So now I am gutted I maybe am being really childish here but I feel as if I was ok to help out and be there for her when she needed me (which was a lot tbh) but wasn't good enough to be invited to the wedding as I am/thought I was a close friend.

How would you feel?

OP posts:
porcamiseria · 30/08/2012 10:18

hmmm

time to reconsider her as a friend

but for gods sake, take a deep breath and SAY SOMETHING

" i thought we were close friends, given the time and suport you wanted for this wedding. To be honest seeing sue and cherly invited, and not me made me feel like a tool, and made me realise you dont really value me as a mate that much"

either way she is an insensitive twat

Original poster
Twiggy71 · 30/08/2012 16:57

I have come to the conclusion that her "good friends" can listen to her problems from now on. Its sad to say the friendship has come to an end.
Thanks everyone for your incites, and taking the time to answer my question..

OP posts:
amillionyears · 30/08/2012 19:35

Ask her.You have got nothing to lose if you are going to dump her.But ask her calmly.There may well be a very good reason.
It would be a shame to lose your friendship with her.

pictish · 30/08/2012 19:45

I agree with perspective.

You are friends...you haven't bought exclusive rights to her entire life. She has known these friends longer. She may not see them as often as she sees you, but that's often the case with old friends. You and she work together, so your friendship is more immediate in nature. That doesn't make it more valuable than all others though.

I'm sorry you feel hurt, but I don't think it indicates anything sinister at all. She can spend time with who she wants, when she wants, at whatever occasion she wants. Not being invited to this does not mean she doesn't think the utmost of you, but that she thought these particular friends were more appropriate invitees for that particular occasion for whatever reason.

We can't all invite every single person to every single thing. You are not her only friend. Come on now.

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