I am really struggling with my reaction to my best friend's new relationship, and need either a virtual slap in the face, or some advice, or just a good talking to. What I'm not sure about is whether I'm basically suffering from green-eyed monster syndrome and need to get a grip, or whether the vibes I'm getting are true red flags and I'm right to be worried about her.
My best friend and I have both been single for some time, she's been single for many years after the love of her life cheated on her and treated her like dirt. We've done the "dating" thing together, analysing dates, bemoaning men, watching each other make the usual mistakes, supporting each other. We are extremely close and talk on the phone every day, we are both only children and I suppose are like surrogate sisters.
She's had a few horrific encounters with men who were quite simply complete shits, and her "twat radar" is definitely NOT fully serviced and MOTed. She met a man online a few weeks ago. It has all gone very quickly, and already he's telling her he loves her, talking about moving in together, etc. He hasn't long broken up with someone else, to whom he was engaged. However, he seems to really adore my friend, and hasn't given her a moment's doubt since she met him. He seems (to her) kind and reliable. But. I don't like him. I've spent a few days in his company at social events since they met, and basically he gives me the creeps. He seems very, very eager to please, but has little to say for himself. He likes to drink, a lot. He is one of those people who gives the impression of playing a role in life, and more than that, he isn't actually that "nice" other than to her (makes disparaging comments, snide, laughs at things he doesn't like or understand).
I'm struggling with how I'm feeling about this relationship. She's telling me that she thinks he's the "one", they are going on holiday together, he's mentioning the "L" word, and I'm trying desperately to sound positive, while also advising her to keep her head above water and be careful. But how much of my reaction to him is just basic jealousy that she's met someone (I don't fancy him at all, but he's SOMEONE, who is lovely to her, and I don't have that or a hint of it on the horizon)? I want to be thrilled for her, but I can't get past the fact that he's ringing the wrong bells in my mind. Help!