Will try to be brief
Posted the other day about marriage issues. Today we were driving back home from going out for the day with two DCs in the car. An argument developed, over something minor (though we had not had an easy day) and 'D'H pulled over and told me to get out of the car. I said I wasn't going to, pretty calmly. He then said that if I didn't, he'd push me out. I again said calmly that I wasn't getting out, so he leant over, opened the door, and started shoving me. I asked him several times to stop, which he then did, but he bruised my arm. DC1 saw everything, and has unsurprisingly been upset since. Just five days ago, DH said to me (after another disagreement) that he wanted to commit to various things going forward, including keeping his temper. It's obvious to me (as it has been obvious to me re persistent lies/concealment about other things) that this is not possible.
I want to separate from him, but I am worried about the extent to which I will then miss time with our children (both under three and DS2 still breastfed). I don't want in any way to deprive them of contact with their father, but I have always done the vast bulk of childcare (work pt and have had two recent maternity leaves) whilst DH works away a lot. The thought of not seeing them whenever I want is the main reason I have stayed in the marriage so long, though as it gets more unhealthy by the week, I can no longer do that.
Is it best to go straight to a solicitor for legal advice re separation, or to try to work things out re those arrangements with our counsellor (who we've been seeing for four months). I'm nervous about going down a legal route too quickly, as I - perhaps foolishly - hope that things could still change if DH takes on the consequences of what he's doing/failing to do (btw this is not meant to cast me as a wholly innocent party).
I find this situation very confusing. DH does at times behave like an utter arse, but he dearly loves our DCs and claims - though I find it hard to believe - to love me. I feel some time apart is now essential.