DP is a musician (not his main job) When I had Dd2 he was always off doing gigs, never asked whether it was ok, just put them in the calendar with overnight stays when they were far away and I had to suck it up. It caused a lot of rows. He just saw it as part of who he was, he needed to do it and it was part of being with a musician. A lot of his band members did it too, with families so that was ok. So I,d spend a lot of weekends on my own. I have no family to help out as parents passed away and siblings they live too far away.
When dd2 arrived, he left the band that taking most of his time and has been putting loads of work into his main work as I am currently a SAHM and he is self employed and we are pretty broke. He works long days so I often do a of bath and bedtime but his work is not arduous, it's compute based.
His other outlet is to spend time in the garden in the summer which is fine, keeping it tidy etc.
He announced last night, when a social engagement arose, for this weekend that he wants to do more music, gigs, rehearsing etc at weekends has been too worried about asking me as to how I'd take it. I don't mind him doing his music, but think the weekeds away were taking it too far as he'd be off firs thing on a Saturday and back last think on a Friday.
I can see what has inspired this - he hates the domestic side of family life and does his garden stuff at weekends while I do most of the domestic staff at weekends - I have a sun allergy so can't say much about that - - the garden needs looking after but maybe not as much as he declares 
. I can see that the winter is approaching and he will be obliged to do more stuff at indoors at weekends. (I do all cooking and housework and majority of shopping - he loads and unloads dishwasher and puts his own clothes way and does own ironing). he is great with kids, loved them to bits and plays with them really well. He doesn't really engage in other areas so eg we have some sleep issues at the moment and it's up to me to work and what to do, research stuff etc.
He always says you must do stuff too, and I've said if you do as much as you did last time and I do equal 'me' time we'd have no family time. The thing is my hobbies are more home based ie reading, cooking / baking and crafts. I need to find things that will take me out of the house, ths are cheap or free as we are broke and don't really on other people too much. He has a vague idea ths two kids (3 yrs and 10 months) is no picnic and thinks that I won't really take the me time that will be owed to me but If I don't I'll just go mad and get angry with him.
Any ideas? What can I do on a regula basis not shopping (broke) or just social stuff - thinking daytime here going into evening to match what slots he will be taking - I don't Want to nip out after lunch and be back for dinner.
Thanks for reading!