From my perspective .... Anyone that settles down and has children with someone, there has to have been an initial attraction both physically and emotionally, unless you met at a blind school and suddenly you gained vision later in life.
So saying you are not attracted to your once desired partner in anyway shape or form to me, seems just crule ! So much of what we think and feel everyday starts with how we think and ultimately thoughts build over time in both good and bad directions. So if you start down a route of blaming someone for all the issues, then sure enough you will end up hating, resenting and being unloving with that person! its almost a dead cert!
Lets be clear here though... Any person male or female suffering because of another person. should consider or just leave such a relationship. Abuse both mentally or physically is just wrong on every level and not acceptable.
I am talking about the huge number of people and children I know of and have heard of, that suffer huge mental anguish because one person is such a negative thinking person. If you are in relationship that is stable on every level but aren't quite feeling the love anymore, then before you rip your whole family apart at least try to fix what is wrong in your head ! If this is you and you are the sudden unhappy one, but for no real reason, other than saying ....
"Oh Im not feeling it any more, but we do have kids, a home and whole extended family but !"
Then I suggest at the very least put your kids and life you have built together "First" and at the very least try to work things out in your own head ! go for your own therapy ! forget counselling together ! stop looking for beauty and the beast type love ! and sort your own head out. You wont find happiness in another arms ! its in your head start there and see where you get too ! After working your own mind out then maybe go for counselling as a couple. If your partner does not want to (more fool them) then at the very least you have tried as far as you can to work through the issues from every angle and can be at peace if you decide to leave !
As you might tell this happened to me ! my wife of 23 years just up and left for no reason. Ran out in 2 weeks, following god knows how long of negative thinking without saying a word. Left her daughter, her son and grown up son shattered ! And to this day none of us really know what happened ! I hear bits from family that she was sad and unhappy ! we'll maybe we should have discussed the issues so we had a chance to work through them !
Im a year down the line now and still don't really understand what happened. I work hard, are financially sound, we own a family home, I don't cheat, never raised a hand and we rarely argued ! The last 8 months however something changed and I can only conclude from bits of information that she got caught up in a romantic visualisation of a man she was missing and this snowballed that into 8 months of thinking she was missing out. Bizarre considering she is so unromantic, cold and unloving for most of our relationship.
My reason for contributing was to maybe help one person and maybe family. If you are romanticising how your life could be somewhere else, but already have a stable caring family home then maybe take those same thoughts and apply them to where they are now. We can all get caught up in thinking we deserve something better but if you truly do love someone and they (man or woman) are a good kind loving person, just maybe its you that needs to change how you are thinking. Maybe practice gratitude for what you do have, not what you don't have. Life is rarely a fairy tale romance and the truth of it is, if someone has your back and they are a decent human ! maybe you already have all you need for a truly great life x