This may sound paranoid or overly dramatic but theres a lot of evidence to support my fear. My MIL (though not legal yet) is always calling O "her little boy" tries to make decision and get involved when we're having private meetings with health visitors etc. She's oftening calling herself mum instead of Granny - yes she could still be adjusting to being a grandparent - but recently she's started calling me Hanna to my son instead of Mummy like she did at first.
There was clearly of a different parenting class than us so I get that we'd experience some clashes. For example she's always telling me off "I never left my sons to cry" (I don't leave O for ages but sometimes he has to wait while i finish making his milk etc). But she's more than just over-bearing. My partner and I moved just before I gave birth but our house-hunting went off track when I had a difficult labour and have been ill since (I'm now recovering from surgery) but so we're leaving with her and her partner. But she doesn't work so she's always around and while I hide in our room and try not to take over their house with baby stuff she just walks into our room. O can never be alone, she'll find him and particularly just before bedtime (which she doesn't believe in) winds him up. She ignores all my "rules" about not wanting to give him solid foods she wanted to a 2+ months and kept buying him food saying "poor boy was starving" - he's not! Similarly if he's having a down point where whatever you do he cries it's "give him calpol" - I'm worried about her babysitting because I discover the calpol bottle moves.
To avoid conflict at first I got really wound up trying to get O to stop crying quickly or not cry at all so she wouldn't hear and barge in/take him off me/or make a bitchy comment. I spoke to my DP and to be fair he has tried to tell her we're parenting our way and that we're his parents but she's oblivious. To be honest he's getting more and more frustrated with her as he doesn't feel she was the best of mother's paying more attention to his Brother.
We're moving out which will solve some of the problems and i've put my foot down saying O will go to nursery because interaction with other children will help him but she's always moved around following her sons as they went off to uni etc. We're moving away from all my friends and family which I'm ok about but not if she's stalking us.
I've been having nightmares about it for weeks now, when I was at my sickest and the doctors told me to go to hospital she wouldn't take me and said that she'd call an ambulance, an hour later we discovered she hadn't. When I was finally in hospital I know my partner needed help but he had to stop her giving O squash and processed food mashed up.
I think this whole thing has set the tone for our relationship now and I don't know how to fix it if it can be.