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Original poster

What to do when you have been 'found' on MN?

34 replies

tulips · 13/03/2006 19:38

Do you change your name and start a new MN life?

Do you carry on regardless - after all the friend that found you out knows all about you anyway?

Do you give up MN? :(

Why does it feel odd though??

OP posts:

MaloryTowers · 13/03/2006 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mytwopenceworth · 13/03/2006 19:39

who found you?

charliecat · 13/03/2006 19:40

have a name change or post incredibly boring things with the name that she knows and more important stuff by changing your name.
What a pain :(

Norah · 13/03/2006 19:41

Happened to me last month - I have changed name !

My acquaintance kept dropping things into conversation that I knew I hadn't told her - but had mentioned on here ! I value my anonymity so I have changed my name !

It's a bugger isn't it !

WharfRat · 13/03/2006 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SenoraPostrophe · 13/03/2006 19:44

actually I periodically get a bit upset that no-one has found me. It is bleeding obvious who i am to anyone who knows me and so the fact that no-one has found me must mean either:

a)that no-one cares enough to look or
b)that all my friends think that mumsnet is beyond sad (lots of them know I post).

oh well. perhaps getting a life would be in order. or maybe just some new friends.

Norah · 13/03/2006 19:47

No honestly SenorApostrophe - count your lucky stars - it's like being with a stalker ! As if they have been spying on you ! I felt quite spooked by thye whole thing ! She was quite crafty too as she would just drop hints about stuff - rather than coming right out and saying it - for a while I thought I was just being paranoid - but it became very clear after a while ! I don't really see her now - because of this.

Definitely better off being incognito !

blueteddy · 13/03/2006 19:50

Change your name if you feel uncomfotable about your friend reading your posts.

SenoraPostrophe · 13/03/2006 19:51

what were you before, norah, can you tell?

SorenLorensen · 13/03/2006 19:55

I mention that I use a parenting website, but am very cagey about the name. If someone I didn't like very much actually came out and asked me I'd say babyworld.

Most people do that sideways "oh and you seemed so normal" look when you say you post on a website like this anyway, "ohh...chatrooms?" And the more you protest it's not really like a chatroom the further they back away.

I only really confided openly about MN to my bf - because she posts on babycentre and understood the addiction. She's seen the light and followed me here now

gladbag · 13/03/2006 20:01

I changed my name when my MIL started talking about the site and dropping hints that she visited it often . I was completely horrified. Now that I've changed I'm much more cagey about saying anything really identifiable, like where I live, ds' birthday etc etc.

If, like me, you just hate knowing that someone is reading your words, knowing it is you, even though you aren't saying anything important or secret, then change your name, and just be a bit more discreet in future. It's a pita, but it was that, or stop using the site. I feel for you! HTH

Norah · 13/03/2006 20:10

Think I am safer not saying who I was if you don't mind - am now in fear of her trying to find me ! Makes me want to lie to throw her off trail sometimes - would be easy to make my dd into a ds, change professiona dn location etc - but hate idea of living a lie !

shellybelly · 13/03/2006 20:16

I recommend MN to any friends that have children, anything I say on here I've generally told them anyway. However, if the subject is sensitive then i change my name so no one can identify me

gingernut · 13/03/2006 20:21

Several people I know IRL know I post under this name (was found out by someone who told a few others!). I like this name so still use it to post boring stuff and have another to post anything more personal.

ItHappenedToMe2 · 13/03/2006 20:22

Hmmm well this happened to me a couple of months ago and the person in question admitted they spent a whole evening reading my archived posts.
I told them the site and they worked out the rest.
I haven't changed my name though. I hae spent years building up my reputatin, not going to throw it all away now.

mistressmiggins · 13/03/2006 20:23

This has happened to me TWICE but I still post under the same name

I think a friend in RL has recognised me but hasnt told me - she put something in my Xmas card that I had posted on MN

then recently my soon-to-be ex H foolishly told me he had been on here & read my posts

I must admit that my husband reading my posts has affected me and I have certainly been posting less than normal - I feel a violation even those MN is on the internet & so obviously open to anyone

the only person I remember telling I use MN is my mum but she isnt computer literate so I hope she wont read - she says she wouldnt

I do understand though

Miaou · 13/03/2006 20:28

It would be very easy for anyone who knows me in RL to identify me, as I don't hide much! That said, I don't think I've posted anything on here that I wouldn't want anyone to read or that I wouldn't say in RL. That said, I don't generally tell people in RL about MN and I think long and hard about recommending MN to someone as they would then be privy to a lot of my innermost thoughts...!

I do have a pseudonym I use to post under if it's something personal, but tbh I'm an open book in RL so I haven't got that much to hide.

Rhubarb · 13/03/2006 20:31

I'd tell 'em to bog off!

I'd sneak to their house late at night and cut their cables!

NotQuiteCockney · 13/03/2006 20:39

I was "found" on like my second post, by someone I knew a little bit.

So I never expected things I posted here to be secret.

gibberish · 13/03/2006 20:40

I changed my name as I too value my anonymity. It is very strange starting again though as you are treated as a newbie although obviously you are not.

Original poster

tulips · 13/03/2006 21:08

Well I didn't expect that many posts!

I like yours Rhubarb. But she is still my very good friend so I wont do that! I wont even try to work out who she is. I dont want her to feel the way I feel.

OP posts:

sansouci · 13/03/2006 21:13

I've recently discovered that one of dd's classmates' mummy is really into surfing. She's English and if she's discovered MN, she definitely has me sussed. How many MNers do you know in Switzerland? oh well.

motherinferior · 13/03/2006 21:17

Oh, I recommend MN all the time and tell people my posting name. I have no shame.

My former boss emailed me at home (we're now mates, have been for years) with 'OMG - FFS! MI! MN!' And another friend emailed me to say 'you're MI! and you're in labour!'

harpsichordcarrier · 13/03/2006 21:19

you're an exhibitionist MI
and you want the WORLD to know how witty you are
big show off

wannaBe1974 · 13/03/2006 21:23

tbh if I didn't want people in rl to potentially know about my personal business I wouldn't post it on a public message forum on the internet. If you post very personal things then you lay yourself open to potentially being discovered. mn is accessible to everyone, none of us really know who might be reading. Yes we could invent whole new identities, but then you couldn't expect to forge meaningful friendships on mn as your existance there would be based mostly on lies.

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