Photos of your partner's ex

[BadLad]

A thread on AIBU got me thinking about this?

Do you mind your partner having photos of his/her ex partners?

My wife is still in touch with a few of her ex-boyfriends, which doesn't bother me at all. Needless to say, she therefore still has photos, and even if she didn't, she could get them from their facebook pages.

I have photos of my ex-wife and a few ex-girlfriends. I'd like to keep some photos of those days. After all, if I become famous, then my biographer might need them in future.

I have told DW that I have them, and she has no interest in seeing them, and says she doesn't want them on display, but she doesn't mind me having them. But it does feel a bit strange having photos of a wedding day of an ended marriage on the hard drive.

Any thoughts or discussion fodder on photos of ex partners?

I have kept my wedding photos. Even though the marriage failed and I wouldn't want to go back I was very much in love at the time and there were some good memories as well as bad. Plus I thought I looked good in the dress.

I also have holiday photos with a previous ex that I keep more for memories of the holiday than the ex. I am also still good friends with a different ex.

I think as long as everybody has respect for each other, there are no hidden agendas or unfinished business and reasonable boundaries are kept it is completely possible to stay friends with an ex. Pictures are precious for the memories they keep not necessarily anything to do with the people in them.

Is there a particular reason for you asking?

Not a problem for me. DH has some old photos, they are a part of his history as much as old family photos and I'm quite keen on keeping photographic records (have thousands of photos on my HD).

We've had 'share and compare' sessions of our exes (looking them up online if we didn't have old photos) and it was quite fun, just like looking back at any bits from our past (I like looking at his baby pics and his old schoolwork as well!) I don't feel threatened by it, we met when we were 28 when I already had a dc, so of course we both have a past.

It depends on the significance of the previous relationships. Evidently, if there are wedding photos, it can be safely assumed that this particular ex meant something once! I don't think I'd like them to be displayed; however, you can't obliterate the past. A person cannot be guilty about having a past, either.

By all means have the photos, but don't keep looking at them. Probably best to keep the photos of the bride and groom's first kiss tucked away, too.

No particular reason - only reading a thread about asking to destroy a photo disk in the AIBU forum. But that was different - it was a disk of photos of a husband and the OW.

Just thought it might make for interesting discussion.

My first serious girlfriend was adamant that old photos had to go in the bin.

I see what you mean about the holiday being important. The only time I have seen my wife's ex in photos was when she showed my photos of a trip she took.

They all live in different countries now. Whereas my ex-wife is in this country.

Actually there is a reason I posted. My wife doesn't mind my having my first wedding snaps. But I think if I ever looked at them, she would wonder why I was looking at them.

This post is thinking out loud - might not make any sense.

cross posted with molotov and everything - thank you for your interesting thoughts while I was replying to Ehoney

Basically, I think if there's any demonstration of wistful harking back to the past, then you're gonna have a problem in your current relationship.

I have photos of exes, but for most of them I parted on good terms, and some DH wouldn't even know were exes.

I have a couple of "memory boxes" and I store them all with college stuff, letters and cards etc on top of the wardrobe.

I have one for DS too.

I don't look at them often, tbh.

DH didn't want to keep any photos of his ex, and she destroyed the ones of him with the kids sadly.

I happened to find a few photos of me with ex in various different social situations and want to keep them because reminds me of some good old times (with others, not really him!)

Have zero feelings for ex, glad we split or I wouldn't have met my amazingly, gorgeous, fab DH but still like to keep the pics for memories sake.

DH not remotely bothered but the double standard is I would probably wonder why he kept them if it was him!