Relationship with fil is rock bottom. Struggle to even be civil. He has no idea either!

[nananaps]

Wish he would just piss off for good really.

Long history going back over 15 years or so.

Thing is im not the only one in the family that cant stand him, but he has absolutely NO clue we feel this way about him.

Try to stick to avoiding him. so only see him about 5/6 times a year.

He has just come to the house as DH, ds and he are going away for the weekend.
Everything about him annoys me.

Am i the only one who has a hated person in their family?
Do any of you have anything similar?

He can't be that annoying if DH is going off on a weekend with him.

Poor DH knows how we feel, but its his dad and despite everything, dh still gives him the time of day.
He is so lovely my DH.

But it's rather mixed messages, that's all. It's not at all surprising he has no clue how you feel if he's invited on jolly weekends. If your objective is to get him to change the annoying behaviour that makes him a 'hated person' then you don't achieve it by pretending nothing's wrong.

What is it that annoys you? You have my sympathy btw, feel the same about pil.

What does he do that's so bad? If how you feel is justified, then tell him to piss off. If not, make more of an effort with him.

Nothing will ever change him, and nothing will ever change what he has done for years and years.

Its easier isnt it to just avoid him, exchange pleasantries but nothing further.

Basically he led my MIL a dogs life, she died in February and its like she never exsisted to him. He is selfish, self centred, devious and one of lifes "takers".
She was a sweet selfless lady who didnt deserve the life he gave her.

Me & her sister were privy to some but not all of it. She confided in me, i have never breathed a word to any one things she told me.
It dawned on me that she confided in her sister too, because of things she was saying at MIL's funeral. She admits to not being able to stand the sight of fil.

DH knows much of what went on because he remembers lots. He is so sweet to his dad. Cant believe that DH came from this man.

Seems like he has got away with so much for so long precisely because no-one ever 'breathes a word'. No-one's ever stood up to him .... children, wife, in-laws, you... so, like all self-centred bullies, he carries on regardless.

Because mil was so private, and didnt want anything doing, we didnt.

He has no idea that she told us anything. DH wants nothing said or done either.

What goes around comes around doesnt it. I kinda believe in Karma.

No it doesn't and I'm sorry but there's no such thing as Karma. :) Neither is there a heavenly sheep and goat-sorting session to fix these people post death. You either say nothing and they live a long and happy life in blissful ignorance of the misery they've created.... or you make a stand and make their life a little less comfortable in the here and now when they can fully experience it.