Should I actively look for a relationship? Is it time?

[UnlikelyAmazonian]

Well Is it? Men are so bloody hopeless and untrustworthy. But maybe there's one or two that would be loveable and actually stick around. I know ds would like a dad. But that's no reason to go on some crappy old dating site is it. I really don't know. I just wish some bloke would give me a massage, take ds to the park and clean the oven.

I think if you're ready to start dating, you need to be prepared to have some more crappy or dull experiences as well as nice ones.

You could go to a spa, get a male relative/friend to take him to the park and hire a cleaner for a day.

Only you know if you're ready.

Great. Thanks for the heads up

not unless you are ready to give emotionally to a partner! sounds like you want hired help , so imo not ready for dating.

Well, I can't answer it . Maybe I shouldn't have answered.

There are good blokes out there. Do you want one?

It's a bit of leap into the unknown this dating lark. It's taking a risk of wasting time & money and possibly being rejected, but on the other side, there's massages and fun.

Do you have friends who know nice single guys they'd love to set you up with?

Hmmmm well as a single Mum for me, the right time to consider dating again was when I didn't need a relationship to make me feel good iyswim? I wanted to learn to be happy as a single person before contemplating another serious relationship as I seemed to go from one relationship to another and then marriage.

I haven't registered on any dating websites yet, I can't stand the idea of them.

I've dated one chap so far and it really didn't go that great tbh

I've thought about friends with benefits but that would make me feel used and rejected if they weren't serious about me tbh. Crosses my mind though!

It is rubbish being a single parent though. I'd love a massage, a clean oven and someone to take my 2 DCs to the park

It felt it was time for me earlier this year so I started seeing someone, he dumped me after 6 months and it felt awful and made me remember why I had stayed single for two years before that. I don't think I can go through it again.

But I feel sad at the thought of being alone forever. Every one I know is coupled up, no single friends and family at all.

Christ!

If I felt shit half an hour ago I feel even worse now.

Honey sounds like you have alot to give, but only you can make you happy inside , but hey yea have a man in your life just dont make him everything , your kid needs you as you know, but Mum needs a break , so if you feel ready for it go for it and have fun ! life is too short for regrets. Take care x

If you feel like it then go for it. My experience of online dating is that you meet some interesting people and get out and have a few chats, cups of coffee etc, you take the more 'unusual' messages in your stride and/or block them and I managed to find a nice fella quite quickly who I am doing lots of nice things with. I'd be a bit careful about looking for a 'dad' though. If you find a guy that you enjoy doing a few things with...and take it from there.

Unlikely, you helped me immensley earlier this year on a thread that I started (under a different name) about my dating problem.

I think, as you've raised the matter, are probably getting round to the idea of not being single forever. One of the other posters said that you have to expose yourself a little (emotionally of course...) and that may mean a bit of hurt. But please don't do what I did and put yourself away for 10 years before trying again. The dating type disappointments are in no way like the hurt you have been through before and you just keep your distance and play a slow game. I wish you luck, you and your DS deserve a lovely bloke in your life and I hope you find what you are looking for.

THe only way to approach internet dating is to treat it as a bit of a laugh and a source of funny stories to share with MN your mates. Do you have male friends/uncles/brothers who feature in your DS' life? I do think all kids should have both male and female adults in their lives to some extent but that doesn't make couplehood compulsory.

Agree with the majority. I've only been separated for about 3 months and thought I was ready to have a browse on Match/POF. I went for coffee with a guy and have sent flirty messages to a couple of others, been for a drink with a neighbour (who I saw on Match - neither of us realised the other was now single!) and had a brief evening of lust with an old friend.

I now realise that through all of this, I'm still hung up, not on my Ex, but on what he thought of me, my insecurities and lack of self-esteem are stopping me from feeling good enough for anyone new.

If you are genuinely happy with yourself, you are strong enough to take the inevitable knocks and you value yourself enough to choose and accept the really nice guys and dismiss the others swiftly, you'll be fine.

But also, I wouldn't be looking for a 'dad' figure, to start with it should be someone for you, for the massage and some fun times, not someone to clean the oven and take your DS out! If it works out long term then maybe he can be a good male presence in your son's life, but I would think that's quite a way off.