How do normal people deal with stress?

[javotte]

Hello. I'm 33wks pregnant with 2 homeschooled DCs. In the past few months, DM has asked for a divorce (things are pretty nasty) and my granny has died. 2 weeks ago DH badly injured himself. He is self-employed so we have no income ATM and I have to do everything in the house. My way to try to cope with it is binge eating... . What do normal people do?

Sorry I can't give many details in my first post. For some obscure reason I cannot write more than 4 lines at a time on MN or my message is lost.

Normal people binge eat, binge drink, binge spend, sit in darkened rooms sobbing, stick their head in the sand and hope it all goes away, scrub cupboards to get rid of excess energy..... you name it, normal people do it.

yeah I do all those bar the cupboard scrubbing

Thanks Cogito
[off to scrub cupboards]

I play the piano extremely badly when stressed. I also play the piano extremely badly when happy.... it's just louder when I'm stressed. :) BTW. Binge eating is only a problem if you choose rubbish foods. Binge eat carrots and broccoli and you'll emerge from the stressful episode bursting with vigour and able to see better in the dark.

Serious suggestion... of all the stressful things work out which you can influence and which are beyond your control. Mothers (?) divorcing you can do nothing about. Bereavement ditto. Lack of income due to injury on the other hand you can do a lot to rectify. Self employed people qualify for sick pay for example. And regarding help in the house, now's the time to call in all the favours you've done for friends and rellies.

I can't do anything about my parents' divorce, but my mother is "punishing" me for not taking sides, and I am too wimpy after decades of mild abuse to tell her "I don't want to hear about it."
We live in France so sadly, DH doesn't qualify for sick pay.

Binge eating here also - no other practical advice to offer and I clearly have been very stressed for a very long time!

Various times in my life have been intensely stressful and I find a glass of or 2 takes the edge of disstress for me, but in to order to live/deal/cope with the effects of stress on a day to day basis, I meditate.

I am usually OK with binge eating because it only makes me fat and ugly, but I am worried I am poisoning my unborn child with sugar.

Vodka and valium. Neither of which are much good to you at the moment I'm afraid!

Then, deep breaths and deal with things one at a time. And only worry about things you can change. Things like your parent's divorce - it's shit that it's happened, but you can be sympathetic/supportive of all parties without taking on the worry about it too.

I find alcohol is my one true friend.

Binge eat, binge drink, binge sulk. Doesn't work.

Go for a walk. Do yoga. Feel much much better.

I get insomnia when stressed. I have recently discovered that doing a workout at 2am when I can't sleep relaxes me and I will be asleep again by 4am rather than awake until it's time to get up. I am not sure I this qualifies as 'normal'.
Did your DH injure himself while working? If so, and the doctor has signed him off work for more than 8 days, he may have some cover from social security. It won't be very much which is why insurance companies sell income protection for self employed people who are in this situation, but every little helps.
You certainly have a lot on your plate, are you homeschooling in the French system?

It's pretty normal to self-medicate in all sorts of ways, whether food or alcohol, whatever. You've a lot going on atm.

I would also recommend yoga or meditation - I did a gentle form of yoga during my first pregnancy and it was really good for me emotionally & physically. Just a bit of time out concentrating on breathing and sensation, letting the worries take a backseat.

Hi sommewhereelse. DH did injure himself while working but "auto-entrepreneurs" have no cover from social security. I am homeschooling in the French system, which is hard (everything is done to discourage you, including financially). This is our last child and I really wanted to relax and enjoy the pregnancy...

Oh honey, whatever works. You are heavily preggers and shouldn't be stressed by others, so take a back seat in other family members' issues.
Hmm alcohol and running stress off - no good. Can u go for a swim ( its kinda a religious experience putting your head under water ad you go up and down lanes with no noise).
Umm .. funny DVDs? Facebooking cute photos?
I make cards (u can buy card sets and stuff to glue on the at The Works cheaply) as it is so productive. ( always birthdays coming up,,) that relaxes me... Or something else arty or bake z load of food to put in pots in freezer for after baby born, to keep u going. If it occupies you in a (not in a hurry) kinda way, then it might help your stress levels. Good luck xxx

I thought that auto-entrepreneurs still got the sick pay from RSI and have just googled it and come up with this

You're very brave to take on home schooling in the French system!