Cocklodging knobber

[filthycute]

Grrrr just a rant. I just logged onto my on-line account - something I do religiously after being left in massive debt from my emotionally abusive ex. Ex P's insurance have taken £200 out of my account!!! This is most probably related to a car accident he had a couple of weeks ago. I have been paying his bloody car insurance for well over a year now every time I cancel it they bloody reinstate it. He promised faithfully that he had different insurance and that he had definitely cancelled this one. So £200 that's on top of the monthly £75 quid that keeps coming out each month, which I'm still waiting for him to pay back.

I have now removed him from the account - he asked me to hold off doing this as it was linked to his main account and he wanted to make sure if wouldn't affect his bills - Knob.

He's currently not speaking to me as I detailed all the debt he has left for which I have had to take on a debt management plan - which I am paying each month, he contributes nothing, no child maintenance, he borrows from me with the promise of a shot time loan and never pays it back - if I ask for it I am a money grabbing, shallow bitch - when will it stop?????-

It wink stop when you make it stop.

Contact your back and cancel the dd. Don't rely on him to do it. Get your name off the insurance.

Don't lend home money. EVER. No matter what sob story he comes up with.

Take control and tell him to sod off.

I don't understand how direct debits are getting reinstated after you cancel them - something's amiss here. This isn't a joint account, is it? It sounds like it must be if you have 'now removed' him from it. It isn't 'them' reinstating the DD, it's him.

It stops when you stop having any financial ties to him. Why on earth would you lend him money?

why on earth indeed - I lent him money to get out of my home - deposit on a property, which he was going to pay back that's 18 months ago. Yes it was a joint account. I have another account, but I needed him to sign to close the joint account. Every time a I push for the paperwork I get abuse - I'm aggressive so he says hewon't discuss it with me.

I am cross with myself I know I have to make it stop and I am, its just so bloody annoying

As MLR has said, it will stop when you make it stop - and not a minute before.

If you are not married and if these debts are in his sole name, why are you bearing any responsibility for them?

With regard to child support, contact the CSA and let them be the 'money-grabbing shallow bitch' that concentrates his mind on his requirement to provide for his dc.

It's very simple: when you reclaim your power and stop being a walkover, he won't be able to treat you like a doormat.

I would change bank, transfer all direct debits etc out of your old account and then write to your existing bank explaining the problem and asking them to freeze the account because you fear he'll try to empty it. You don't have to get his permission to freeze it, they'll do this quite happily to protect themselves.

Contact your bank immediately filthy and explain the situation. Cancel all of his outgoing bills, personally I would tell them he knows your details and is using them without your permission. Ask for a new account, one which he will not know the account no/bank card no unless you give him it.
Stop lending him money, you are enabling him to take advantage of you and it won't stop until you do something about it.
Go to the CSA if you're in the UK for child support, he doesn't have the choice then to with hold what your DC rightly deserve.

Surely if he won't take his name off the joint account, you take yours off? I would speak to the bank for advice on what to do - and certainly any overdraft should be cancelled (this will be in their interests as well as yours).

Don't run anything past him. Just take the bull by the horns and do it!

He sees you as a soft touch. He'll carry on stealing money from you (and thus effectively out of his own children's mouths) as long as you allow him to do so.

Why have you not contacted the CSA? Your kids need this twat to cough up. If he has money to run a car he has money to help fill their tummies. They don't give a crap what his debts are, just his wages.

Incidentally, if you don't live together any more and have evidence from the bank that you have cancelled the dd since that time, and he has reinstated it each time, then you might want to add all the premiums plus this £200 together, then file at the Small Claims Court for it, plus the deposit money he owes you. The threat alone might concentrate his mind wonderfully.

You both have to agree to a name being taken off afaik but you can freeze the account so no transactions can take place without the consent of both parties.

If you have a joint account and your own personal account with the same bank or building society, the bank can transfer money from your personal account to cover a debt on your joint account. The bank might do this automatically, although in practice, banks will often ask your permission before transferring money in this way.

You really, really need to get this sorted out asap.

As to how:

[[http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/nireland/debt_ni/debt_banking_e/joint_bank_accounts.htm#if_there_is_disagreement_about_a_joint_account If you have a disagreement with another joint account holder, you should cancel the joint account mandate straight away.

If the mandate isn't cancelled straight away, any one account holder will still be able to get access to the account and the bank won't be able to refuse to pay them.

When you cancel a joint account mandate, the account will be frozen. All the account holders will then have to agree on how to divide the money up between them. If it's not possible to agree, the courts will have to decide how to divide the money up.

In England and Wales, if all the people pay money into the joint account, it is assumed that they all own the amount jointly, it doesn't matter how much each person pays in. For a husband and wife or civil partners, it is assumed the money in the account belongs to both of you, even if only one of you pays into the account. However, for joint account holders who are not married or civil partners, if one of you isn't paying into the account, it isn't assumed that that person owns the money. It can be difficult to prove that you own the money in a joint account if you aren't paying into it, unless you can show that it was the clear intention of the joint account to have a common fund which each person could use.]]

This is the mandate explanation.

Really.. transfer the transactions and then freeze the account. They can do it at the push of a button.

They can't close it without his sayso. They can make it so they won't pay another penny out without both parties' sayso - that means he can't do a blessed thing on the account without your signed agreement.