My partner has chosen a video game over me and our son

[chipsandmushypeas]

i posted the other day about how lonely i am feeling as my partner is addicted to vg.

i stayed at my mums for two nights and I'm still here. he had been texting me asking when I'm coming back but i really don't want to. i told him he needs to choose his game or me and his son (I'm 23 weeks pg) and he said he's not changing his lifestyle. so thats it i guess. told him I'm getting my stuff and cancelling our holiday next week. he just replied saying maybe its for the best as he's been feeling down

I'm absolutely gutted and feel like jumping out the windows right now. I'm worthless. someone please talk to me

Op - do either of you work? What do his work mates think?

It's an addiction. Like drinking and gambling, some people can enjoy it and keep it in the appropriate slot in their lives. Some get sucked in - and a whole new chemistry gets set up in the brain. To compress thousands of words into 9, it fills the gap marked "love" in the brain. Partners often say they feel like their addict has left them for someone else (even if they're still in the same room) and they are right, neurologically speaking. It's very sad. I feel for you.

Tell him he's addicted and give him a straight choice - no managing him or his game time; no games AT ALL - or no home & family. Just as you would do if it were another woman (and just as painful )

I hope he makes the right choice. Keep posting, you might need it!

CaptainHetty yes, I was in a very progression focused guild. We played 5 nights a week on progression content. (Which obviously isn't every week, but you can't choose when new content is launched). You are expected to turn up to help progression. You are expected to watch videos and study up boss strategies. We are ranked very high on the server, and you need to put in a written application form, and pass an interview to join. It's all very competitive.

If I continue to play, I'd have to find another guild basically.

rainbowinthesky a lot in my guild works. Play time is in the evenings after dinner.

He called my mother and spoke to her. He's coming round here soon, it's been such a horrible day, I'm hoping I'm not going to be a single mother even before the baby is here, although I could do it.

I made it very clear when I spoke to him earlier that I would rather be single and happy than unhappy and lonely in his company. He knew I was serious

Does he not work? Who pays for his 'habit'?

Stay strong chips.

Don't settle for "Er yeah well I'll try to be on it a bit less, promise, luvyababe!"

He needs to do something drastic. I'd say he needs to seek help, but I can imagine help for a gaming addiction being hard to come by, despite being desperately needed.

Oh Chips so sorry to see this is you. It is not your fault in any way and well done for being strong enough to go to your mums and say you are not putting up with it.

Sorry I have no advice but you are strong and I know you haven't had the easiest time since getting pregnant so wanted to say take care and whatever happpens it will work out ok for you and your LO, with or without your DP.

He's been feeling down?

Poor love. Must be so taxing playing games all the time.

You are much better off at your mum's without him. He is an immature idiot.

Can you not play with him? Maybe that way you can experience it a bit too and it won't be as much of a dividing thing between you.

Gaming time will be much scarcer when the baby is here, but I must confess that dh found gaming very useful during the very early baby days, which can be very lonely for the father.

I was bfing 127 times a day, sleeping not at all and basically a zombie, so would often go to bed at 7pm with ds and not reemerge until the morning. Playing games kept him sane and able to support me during those times without feeling completely isolated.

Now gaming is restricted to an hour or so after dc have gone to bed and all else is done, which does limit your ability to be in some ultra-competitive team, but not your ability to have fun.

I was weirded out when my wife was pregnant too.
The realisation that you've got to grow up, that you are going to become a parent, a boring old fart, your life is over..... Yes, I do know now that it's not entirely like that :)

The game is just a cover for his early onset mid-life crisis, he does need to man up and get a grip of himself tho.