Realtionship with Girlfriend And Her Children

[CaptainChuckles]

Hi. This is my first time time on this site so I am sorry if this is posted in the wrong location.
I have been seeing my girlfriend for 9 months now,she has been separated from her ex for two years and the divorce was finalised last month.
I did not meet her children,girl 11 and boy 7, for five months as we wanted to be sure that the relationship was going to work.
The children seemed to take to me,the boy loved playing football etc the girl just chatting and watching DVDs together.
However as their dad does not make time to see them other than one weekend in two they are unhappy and cannot understand why he does not see them more. Recently however their attitude towards me as changed they do not like me at the house, however I suspect the boy is being influenced by his older sister.
My girlfriend and her children have been going to Relate to sort out issues between the three of them. At the last session it came out hat the girl finds it all too much too soon with her mum having a boyfriend. So the Relate Councillor suggested to them that I only see my girlfriend once a fortnight when the children are at their dads, which my girlfriend seems to have jumped at has she is,understandably, desperate for her children to grow up happy and well adjusted.
I know my girlfriend is fearful of loosing me and loves me deeply and misses me so much when we are apart. We live 45miles apart and can only meet at weekends.
This has left me feeling emotionally as if Iam in a revolving door and unsure about our future together. At the moment I cannot see how not seeing the children can ever get then used to me and just waiting for who knows how long for the children to give their mother permission to see me seems strange. So my questions are has anybody had to deal with this situation and how did they manage it? Or is this situation un-workable and I should break both our hearts and suggest we call it a day as I fear the relationship is not going to grow with meeting only once every two weeks and I do not want to wait for months/years for her children to give the green light and it may never happen and that time has been wasted on both sides?
Thank you for any thoughts and comments.
William. aged 50.

not to mention a bad name to the military, no wonder so many people think those in the forces are horrible cunts.

Hi.
Do I love her? She inspires me to write her romantic poems and to write her love letters. We were apart for two weeks once and when we met the next time it was like two embarrassed teenagers meeting, we relised how much we had missed each other.
She makes me feel young and relaxed and happy and we are just so comfortable in each others company. Yes I love her.
I have been to Relate with her to find out how I should be with the children and I have purchased some books on the subject of children issues and relationships.

lol at the poems. Can you cook dinner? I'm only joking there. Nobody's ever been moved to write me a poem ;-p

I haven't introduced my kids to a man I'm seeing. It just wouldn't feel right. But can't you compartmentalise it a bit? When I go out, the kids are with a babysitter who paints their nails and puts beads in their hair and they bearly ask who I'm going out with. We're all happy for now. Is it really necessary to try and merge lives? I'm just wondering . I don't know if I would be happy indefinitely with my situation as it is, but....... Not everybody in your life has to have a relationship with every other person in your life, do they?

this can't possibly be a troll, it's just too banal.

Yeah I've reported it fanjo. It makes me sad. It also makes men and women associated with the military really stupid, uneducated and moronic.

It disgusts me tbh. The high % really aren't like that. But there in black and white, you can't defend the indefensible. I would just urge caution right now to anyone giving too much info away in relationships.

They've decided over there to infiltrate slowly fwiw, so don't be expecting any more midget porn threads.

Anyway op bad choice of name? What can I say. Good luck.

OP: I'd just leave it the way it is. You have every other weekend alone with your girlfriend while the kids are away. You've been on a 10 day holiday alone together in that 9 months also.

You've only been widowed for 2 years. You've been in this relationship for 9 months; had a relationship for 8 months previous to that. I think you may be expecting too much, too soon.

Hmm you had me until the 'inspires me to write romantic poems'.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1545820-Help-For-Girlfriend-And-Her-Children-Following-Divorce

:)

Somewhat less than the full story here, OP?

That's a horse of a different colour...

is she a lot younger than you?

do you have children?

you seem to still be on the rebound and want a GF to fill the hole in your life left by your DW, rather than for her as a person

I feel an eejit now. was this a troll!? dullest most banal most mundane troll EVER. how could I have known?!

This is all sorted now and my mind is clear on what Iam going to do what I was always going to do which is be there to support my GF until the end of time because my love for her is so great and unending. It was all anew experience with the children and confused my senses for a while.