How much time does a dad get with kids if things get to lawyers?

[TryingToKeepitTogether]

My nickname needs changing, I have now officially given up, and Im moving out, nearby, soon. We have agreed that to start I will get 140 days a year with our DD. That's half the holidays and weekends, plus one night a week during school. I want more, but the mere suggestion is jumped on with " right I'll talk to my lawyers". For now I want to avoid nastiness, and ex says the same, so long as she gets exactly what she wants. But if I feel its unfair, and she keeps making the same threat, does anyone know how much custody I might get ? We both work, my wife was working 3 days a week before and will shift to 4, I am 5.

Well done.

We've done shared care for years, it can and does work if you put the children first, and neither of you think you're more of a parent.

And if neither of you are arses obviously.

Interesting to read Blondie1969s post. What worked well for him might work badly for me - meaning that if we rack up a year of living happily in the current arrangement it might be held against me when I come back to seeking my share of our house. For what it's worth, it's in writing that we plan to sell it and split the proceeds equally, including a statement taken down in mediation. Neither of us particularly wants to stay there, it's too big for one parent and half a kid. I guess I might buy her out though, especially if it looks like I will be likely to have a second family. Of course that depends on the as-yet unknown third and maybe fourth parties.

I'm also amused that we seem to be having a little all-male mini-forum here :)