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Original poster

Do I tell new man about my sexual inexperience?

25 replies

HairyArmPit · 23/08/2012 18:43

Don't laugh. I'm 31 - had just two long term relationships - both of which were boring in bed with 99% of sex missionary with the very rare attempt at sex from behind. I've had no one night stands or short relationships, FWB etc so my sexual experience is pretty shit.

But I've not really enjoyed sex before so I didn't care, it was just a case of lie back and hope they get it over with quickly

But - new relationship, I'm slightly head over heels with this guy and for once in my life, I enjoy sex with him. We've slept together 3 times - everytime was missionary.

Last night we were in bed, he was massaging my back and I was laid on my stomach, his sat over my back and I think something ticked in his head and as we went to have sex, he asked me to stay on my belly. Well it was a really awkard affair, it kept slipping out, I didn't understand what he was asking me to do when he asked me to move slightly - in the end he lost his erection and we had to give up I was laying there next to him thinking "I can't let the night end like this when I'm not going to be seeing him again for two weeks (different thread) and so I initiated sex again and climbed on top of him. THAT worked well and I quite enjoyed it.

Still confused about the 'from behind' thing though, why wouldn't it work? am I weird?

And do I tell him that I'm inexperienced so he can show me/explain to me what he wants or just keep quiet and learn as I go along? (possibly making a tit of myself in the process)

He's 10 years older than me, likes sex and can go all night... I don't want sex to be the thing that shows us apart!

OP posts:

nitrox · 23/08/2012 18:52

Sounds like you have already made progress

I'd just go with the flow myself, try things out, if they don't work, just move into another position and keep it fun

I've never had a problem from behind, but it's much easier if you are on all fours and have your bum in the air, was probably just an awkward position with you laid down. Next time pop a pillow under your hips and it'll probably go in better!

nitrox · 23/08/2012 18:53

P.S

I have NEVER sucessfully managed to 'go on top'

Houseofplain · 23/08/2012 18:59

The belly position does not work very well. Unless you are kinda raised a bit then fall into the flat position.

So that's his inexperience showing through you sound like you are doing ok!

Smellslikecatspee · 23/08/2012 19:18

You need to pop a pillow under your hips to get the right angle

Krumbum · 23/08/2012 19:23

Your the wrong angle if your lying on your tummy, you need to tilt up a but, or go on all fours?
I think telling him would be good, then you can explore together.

BedGirl · 23/08/2012 19:27

The belly position is rubbish in my experience. I think willies just aren't long enough for it.

It sounds like you are doing well, it will probably just take a bit of time to get used to having a new partner and doing new things

How comfortable do you feel with him? Would you be happy speaking to him about being inexperienced?

FWIW I think it should be about what you want not what he wants. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable and secure in what you are doing.

OhDearNigel · 23/08/2012 19:28

All you need to say is "my previous boyfriends were rubbish and I'm really looking forward to you teaching me a thing or two". He will be putty in your hands after that. I think most men fantasise about showing a naive innocent "the ropes"

OhDearNigel · 23/08/2012 19:29

and from behind only really works if you are doing it doggy style or are shagging someone with a 14" cock

gingerpig · 23/08/2012 19:32

you need to get your bum in the air!!

Malificence · 23/08/2012 19:35

Next time, lean over at least two pillows so you are on your knees but supported on your elbows, be aware that it's a position that allows very deep penetration and not much in the way of control for you. You need a lot of trust in your partner for it imo, it's important that he starts slowly and gently.

CalamityKate · 23/08/2012 19:37

IME in order for it to work from behind you have to raise your bum a bit. Unfortunately though it always seems to, erm, pump me up

Beckamaw · 23/08/2012 19:40

Yes, lift your hips upwards and kind of push yourself backwards, onto him.
If you can get into a good rhythm it can be pretty fantastic.

Houseofplain · 23/08/2012 19:41

I like the belly position, but he's definitely not 14" I'm going to measure him later

ErikNorseman · 23/08/2012 19:45

Be warned, the on the belly bum up position can cause serious fanny farting when he pulls out!

Curlybrunette · 23/08/2012 20:53

ohdearnigel I agree about what to say to op's new man. He'll love being the experienced one!

I'm must be the odd one, we can do it with me laid flat on my tum and dh behind but if I go on to all 4's dh slip's out constantly. You do need to lift your bum up though.

Have fun!

axure · 23/08/2012 21:03

ErikNorseman you beat me to it about the fanny farts, hilarious with a long term partner, but would be mortifying in a new relationship.
I find on all fours resting down forwards on my elbows most comfortable, also makes my bum look less flabby.
Good luck OP, enjoy yourself!

dondon33 · 23/08/2012 21:08

Be warned, the on the belly bum up position can cause serious fanny farting when he pulls out!
I've just choked on my peppermint tea, Dp's looking at me like I'm crazy :)

Tummy position is ok if you open your legs wide enough, by keeping them closed he doesn't get deep enough and will pop out, doggy is much better :)
So now you like "on top" Hairy, your next mission should you choose to accept it, can be reverse cowgirl who the fuck thinks up these names very nice and satisfying

wellisit · 23/08/2012 21:23

i LOVE belly position, my favourite of all and I think my man is a average 6-8in (he wont let me measure!). You have to sort of tilt your bum up and yeah, it slips out sometimes. I don't get fanny farts that way but on all fours I sure do! Especially if it's doggy but with my front end dropped onto my elbows - deeep penetration and he LOVES being able to wath himself fully, but fanny farts ahoy!

...I can't do on top either, just never seems to work for me?

Houseofplain · 23/08/2012 21:27

I will only do top when dressed up after several vinos

dondon33 · 23/08/2012 21:40

I can't do on top either, just never seems to work for me?

Feet on the bed/floor/surface of your choice, is way easier than on your knee's doing it, helps with rhythm too

YellowTulips · 23/08/2012 21:47

I would tell him - based on the fact my own experience (or lack thereof) was pretty much identical to yours when I met my DH at 29.

Far from being put off my DH was pretty damn thrilled to be the one to introduce me to different positions and oral and I was a pretty willing pupil

CalamityKate · 24/08/2012 17:59

Fanny farting was what I meant when I mentioned "pumping me up"

HistoryNerd · 24/08/2012 18:54

Usually when we do it 'from behind' we'd start with me kneeling up, then lying flat. You do need to elevate your butt a bit though :P

bubalou · 24/08/2012 19:33

I haven't read all the posts but go on your knees on all fours.

It's much more comfortable. 1 of my favourite positions.

Good on you by the way. Enjoy.

cronullansw · 24/08/2012 22:10

Tell him.

And shyly 'ask' him to show you everything..... :)

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