Am separated from what I now understand to have been, my emotionally abusive husband of many, many years.
Life is ok, going towards good, for me and the children. Money is tighter than its ever been, but hopefully it won't always be this way.
Anyway, I'm looking for advice from ye wise 'been there, done that' relationship mumsnetters.
Even though life is going well without ex dh, I am starting to feel very strong feelings of 'maybe we should try again'. Most days I hate him for letting us down so badly, leaving me to cope with a large family of children, two of whom have SN. He has never contributed a penny to their upkeep and I am now penniless following on from getting ready for the back to school crazy time.
I feel lonely and miss the 'notion' of intimacy. I still fantacise that I could reform his ways and make us a family again. And it would be great to have sex again!
But then.... the kids are doing great. Particularly the older teens who never went outside our house to socialise or anything before we moved out. The younger ones now have endless playdates (which never happened before as he didn't think the parents/child were appropriate playmate material, and so on).
At the end of the day, they are all asleep, and I end up feeling sad, lonely and a little worried about my life in the future.
Should I be giving it another go, or is this the madness that creeps in for us mums who do it all ourselves and just crack a little?