Unknown

[AmaraDresden]

My partner of 10 years dumped me in public in front of two of my friends at the beginning of July. Just days earlier I'd found out my Nan had suspected leukemia (my mum is dead, so her and my grandfather who has COPD are all I have). He said he didn't love me any more, and there was nobody else involved. I knew he'd been flirting over fb with his sister's friend, but hoped it was just harmless.

Needless to say, since he left I snooped on his fb and took a couple of screenshots on my phone of some messages between them. She's married and was with her husband 3 or 4 days before xp left me as we were all at a BBQ together. Apparently they have since broken up. Xp went out on a date with her that he only admitted to on Monday, I suspect there's more, but I don't care, I just hate that he lied to me so much.

It's really hitting home that he's not who I loved, possibly never was that person.

Anyway my main issue is that he asked how often he could have our two dc, I asked how often he wanted them and he settled on two nights one week, and one night the next.

Sorry, I accidentally posted before finishing and now there's no title, damned phone!

Anyway... However he's only had them once a week since, I've tried to be as reasonable as possible, until last week I was staying on a friend's sofa so he could have them at my house as he is staying with his sister. I'm mad because he's had days off work (unpredictable) and not even take the dc to the park, but has doing a lot with his sister's kids.

I'm even more angry because he's been trying to manipulate the children against me, in what I can only guess is a way to push the blame onto me. He's told ds1 (9) that I was out on the pull one night. He went mad at me another time I went pub via text because ds1 has learnt to make toast in the morning. He will say things like 'i don't know when I'll see you again, it's up to your mother' when he says goodbye, has lied to them about being 'busy' on his days off etc.

I have started correcting his lies, I don't know if this will upset dc more, but I don't want ds1 being fed a pack of lies (ds2 is 5 and takes little notice) and thinking I am the reason his dad left when I wasn't!

I have an appointment with my Nan tomorrow for her bone marrow test results and I just feel so lonely. I want my mum. He's making it harder than it has to be. My own health is not stellar either.

I'd love some tips on how to deal with his behaviour in front of the children please.

I am feeling very sorry for myself and so worried about tomorrow.

Sorry you are having such a difficult time. I think the best thing to do would be to tell the kids you are going to sit down with dad and make a schedule and then try and do it with him.

Say to him we can Put it up on the wall so kids always know when they are going to see you. I wouldnt be allowing him to have your house though. He needs to grow up and make us own arrangements.