internet dating

[Flojo1979]

Should I or shouldn't i?
If so which sites? Do's and dont's?

Yes, why wouldn't you?? I've only properly been on match but liked it a lot, and as it is the biggest dating site, you get a fair amount of choice. It's also a good starting point, until you figure out if you'd be better with another option.

I've also checked out various free sites. While I haven't really used them, my impressions (as an outside observer) are that:

• plentyoffish is a bit rubbish (low quality user interface and a lot of people you'd never want to meet (although there are good people to be found on all sites),

• mysinglefriend is better (if you have a friend that can write you a good profile, (or you can be cunning and write your own one and pretend a friend wrote it)

• okcupid is really pretty impressive considering it's free. Get the impression it brings out peoples' individuality well and has good quality men and a good user interface.

• Eharmony, I have very little experience of although I have hear that (1) It takes a lot of paper work per date (which is often an utter waste of everyone's time) and (2) It does actually have a very high success rate compared to others (but you have to put in a decent amount of effort)

Met my boyfriend on POF in December, we are now moving in together. Definitely give online dating a go.

Yes do it!

I met my husband on My Single Friend 5 years ago, and know of 4 other couples all in long-term relationships who met online.

A few bits of advice:

1. Be honest with your photo and description, and be prepared that not everyone else will be
2. Don't spend too long emailing or chatting to someone. You can build up a mental image of someone and then be very disappointed when you eventually meet. I wasted two months talking to someone, and when we finally met it was obvious we weren't right for each other pretty quickly.
3. Don't take everything personally. If someone doesn't reply or 'like' you back, just move on to the next one. It's their loss.
4. Persevere! One friend met her husband after 40-odd first dates!
5. Obviously the usual safety rules apply - meet in a public place, tell a friend where you're going...etc.

Internet dating isn't for everyone though, my sister HATED it, so if you try it and it's making you miserable, cut your losses and try other ways of meeting people like speed dating or quiz nights.

Good luck!

do it, do it, do it. but the advice for perseverence is the best advice you will get. the only downside i can see to the process is that you don't know how many other people the other guy is seeing - or whether he is still online and only supposed to be dating you!! good luck - and it has to be match...

sorry, i should also add that i find it really easy to filter the marrieds and idiots out, so just beware there are some guys who obviously copy and paste standard shite and send it to you - beware of this too. when i started, i thought i should be polite and answer each message etc. no more. also, i don't really bother with just a 'wink'. i think that a 'hello' message is a much better investment, even if it is no-specific (as long as it is personal)!!
i haven't had a 'bad' date yet, they have all been extremely polite and lovely and i have rarely had to put my hand in my pocket, but i don't go out expecting them to pay. i think that you should also be up front about what you do (and don't) want from it.
some say treat each date like a job interview, but i don't do this. be yourself and have fun - that's what its all about!!

OP, my opinion that internt dating is ok for a 'people person' who enjoys a chat with anyone regardless of how much they personally like that person. Otherwise, if you have a low boredom threshold (and you will have to repeat yourself to everyone new with hte same info time and time again), or you don't like small talk, then you aer in for a disappointment, you will need a LOT of wnegry and thick skin. Sorry to be negative, I tried it in the past, and sitting through boring dates even for a hour (it was always just a coffee) was draining, and they do always ask about your life and history, and honestly, I don't want to tell that to every stranger but would feel rude to ignore. Also as i say it gets so repetitive.
Of course there ARE people who are very lucky to meet someone good quickly, some stories on here too. You could always give a go for a short while but my advice go and see/do something rather than sit with each 'candidate' over a drink as it does feel very much like a job interview ! at least that way you could enjoy whatever activity you aer doing. Also be prepared that men can be keen on the date but not want to contibue and then it often turns out he's not single or mopes about a split with recent GF!

sorry for missing words!

I'm about to take the plunge.

I'm going to go with okcupid as that appears to have the most positive reputation of the free sites. I figure that if nothing else it will allow me to find my feet in the world of internet dating and if I decide I want to invest in a paid for site at least I've had practice.

met my now fiance on pof nearly 3 years ago...

I would like to add to sleeplessknights points

1. don't be afraid of making first contact with someone, just drop them a cheery line and take it from there.
2. do chat to them on the phone before you meet... if there is no spark there it will be apparent in the phone call.

good luck and enjoy

I met my soon to be DH on a free site, cant remember what one now though!
We bonded over a picture of our dogs. I couldnt work out if the pic he showed me ment he was really tiny or the dog he was next was huge! turns out the dog was huge!

yes, I met DP on smooch.com, tbh I went on purely for people to talk to as POF had cancelled it's chat facility.

2.5 years and another ds later we've gone thru our first rough patch and so far are surviving it, but think that's' more to do with the whole new parents/lack of sleep thing. :)

lol. flora, yes, I keep teasing DP the only reason he wanted to date me was because of the dog - he loves them, and his XW made him get rid of his dog as she was allergic, he'd offered to walk my two before i'd met him - quite a change as mostly when people hear you have a german Sheppard they run in the other direction lol.

(incidently DP was/is the only man my GSD let near me, incl XH, so if you have a dog, i'd say trust their instincts lol)

I have found that most of the people, probably about 99%, who start on the various pay sites eventually end up on plentyoffish.

(Plentyfoffish is not only free but it has many additional search features that lots of the pay sites do not have - but people think that if they are paying £5 to £50 per month that they are getting something superior.)

You can meet loads of lovely people on dating sites BUT you have to become 'dating site aware' as, IMPO, all the dating sites have a high percentage of liars, people with personality disorders and, of course, the inevitable - both male and female - marrieds.

A friend of mine got very badly beaten up by a man she met on a dating site and ended up in A&E. He seemed lovely at first but then quickly changed. Others I know have met lovely partners so it is just a case of being very careful and if someone seems too good to be true then they probably are.

yes if meeting do be careful and let someone know where you are going. hopefully you will be as lucky as me and your first date will be your last date! it was love at first sight!