I want to leave but don't know how I am going to do it

[poodles]

My dh is an alcoholic normally I control it by hiding his booze at weekends but on Saturday I went to visit a friend and came back at 4 he was p**sed and got arsey with me for no reason at all while 19mth dd was there, ended up throwing her baby pushchair across the room we haven't spoken since but dd is shouting at our cat saying 'that's not nice' where do I start?

he threw the baby pushchair btw not me

Feel sorry for you living with an alcholic. I myself could not do it.

Thanks, that helped.

I am so sorry, didn't mean to be so rude, I just come on here looking for answers. feel bad for being horrible, I am really desperate.

Could you go to relatives/friends. Or a domestic refuge even. I don't know if he has been violent towards you, but my understanding is that they will take you in if you feel frightened.

So sorry Poodles, am not very good at giving advice. Am sure somebody else will, Meerkat is very good at this sort of thing and gives great advice.

He isn't normally violent but dd has started to be really clingy to me which is really normal for her age and he finds it insulting that she wants to cuddle only me in the morning, and not him.

Get an appointment with CAB or even better a legal aid solicitor that does free initial interviews to get a feel for where you stand financially/legally on divorce. If you don't work, I imagine you would be entitled to Income Support and Tax Credits. CAB should be able to give you further advice about benefits.

You might also find it helpful to look at the alcoholics anonymous website - they have a branch, al-anon, that provides support to family member/partners of alcoholics.

Do you have any supportive family/friends to confide in?

I live a complete lie to all my family and friends, they think everything is fine, I live this existence where everything is fine, I am this happy, popular, succesful person, I am a role model to most members of my family, they rely on me cos I am so sorted. How do I blow that out of the water?

Poodles,

Would suggest also you contact Al-anon as they can help families who live with alcoholics.

Talk with the CAB as well, you need to know where you stand legally and with benefit entitlement.

You need to consider telling your family as well longer term about your DH's alcoholism.

Does he think he has a problem with drink and if he says yes to that question is he serious about tackling his drink problem?.

You cannot control it just by hiding the drink at weekends, he will just find other ways to get alcohol. You say that by 4pm on Saturday he was drunk.

You need to be aware as well that his primary relationship is with drink. Absolutely everything else- and that includes your child - comes a poor second. You may have to prepare yourself for the fact that you may have to leave him and even then he may not stop drinking.