Trying to get out of an abusive relationship, I need advice please.

[Leela2]

Hi, I've been with current partner nearly six years. He moved into the house I had shared with exH , and my children. He has paid half the mortgage and some of the bills, and when I haven't been able to, over the last six months he has paid all the mortgage.

We remortgaged together to pay off exH in divorce settlement.

Ex partner had lost his house due to not being able to pay his mortgage and his half of mine at the same time.

He works full time, I don't work at the moment, trying to find part time work but with two special needs children it is very difficult. I live in a small village and am unable to drive, due to being partially sighted.

ExH not paying Child Support, CSA have caught up with him 4 times but each time he has found some excuse to leave his job.

So, house is in both our names. Apparently I can't get housing benefit unless this house is up for sale, he won't agree to the sale. He won't agree to buy me out. I have been on the council waiting list for over a year, but it is very hard to get a house in this area.

So no money, no job, no child support, no one to help with child care even if I could get a job.

Does anyone have any ideas what I can do next?

Legal advise over the house.... Don't think the hb thing is correct

Citizen's Advice? If you can't visit them, you can message them on the MSE forums and get direct responses. Maybe you can get some disability allowance / carer's allowance?
Sorry not to be more helpful, but I think you need professional advice.

sorry for your distress. I think you need better benefits advice asap - call CAB or Shelter tomorrow, your local Jobcentre plus can also help (with benefits advice). Check the directgov site they have a benefits calculator thing that can tell you what you may be entitled to - you may have to sign up for income based JSA or income support (if children under 5) to access other benefits such as support with the mortgage - but since your new partner lives with you and has his name on the mortgage now too? his income if he works may be considered enough to cover things - you need specialist advice.

In your title you say he is abusive, what form does the abuse take? If he is violent you may be able to get him out of the house.

Splitting money and possessions if you're not married I would recommend talking to a solicitor about your options for the jointly owned house. It's obviously easier/cheaper if you can agree to put it up for sale amicably but there is also the possibility to apply to court for an 'Order Of Sale' if he's being obstructive. The Housing Benefit issue relates to how much you can have in savings or assets to qualify.

No advice as I had to walk away from a house and all my possessions to get away from an abusive man. Can you sell things on ebay to get money to get a private 'pot'.

The next time he is abusive tell the public health nurse /hv so that you feel better and so that it's on record too. I told my hv the day before I left and I felt a lot better afterwards.

If the abuse is violent then call the police. I wish I had done that . Misguided loyalty/fear, I didn't want to make a scene??

I just wish I'd made life easy for myself instead of always thinking about him and how mad it would make him.

Do you have brothers or male friends who would come and MOVE In and protect you until he has moved out and taken his stuff. I know my x would never have done anything I asked him to. When I told him I was leaving him, he attacked me, even though I was walking away from the precious house. I don't mean to alarm you but IF YOU DO HAVE people who can come and be there just as witnesses as well as moral support for you he will not be quite so free to bully/shout push you about.