Is it possible to fall back in love?

[littlemisssunny]

I have been married for 12 years and we have 2 dc aged 6 and 4.

When I look back I wonder why I was attracted to him as we are completely different people. I guess they say love is blind!!

He has always done as he pleased, and if he wanted to go away for weekends etc he has just done it and not asked if I mind, even though I have told him I don't know how many times if he asked I would give my opinion but never say he couldn't as he is an adult, but it would be nice if he considered my feelings.

I feel I can't discuss things with him as if I don't agree with his opinion then I'm wrong end of discussion, I find it so hard to communicate with him.

I guess over time I have built up resentment which isn't a good thing!

I do like to get my own way, don't get me wrong, but I also believe compromise is very important, he doesn't seem to see this. He seems to lack empathy and understanding.

Is it possible to fall back in love with someone? I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about leaving, but I suffer with anxiety and the thought of the unknown terrifies me. I think he would get unreasonable aswell and not want to sort things amicably, which I would want to for the sake of the children, also the thought of spending time apart from them when they would see him is awful!

I know no-one can tell me what I should do and only I can decide but any words of wisdom would be gratefully received!

Ideas other than 'treat me with respect or pack your bags?' If you go the ultimatum route, prepare your ground for the bag-packing . See solicitors about the implications of divorce - your home, maintenance, other issues. Be up to speed with finances and start putting something aside just in case. Think about your social life, career and other aspects of future independence. Knowledge is power & once you're armed with the information you can have that crunch conversation far more confidently.

You have given me a lot to think about and you are right, knowledge is power.

I want him to know I am serious about him changing but want him to know i mean it this time. Perhaps an ultimatum isn't a good idea but I need him to understand how serious I am and I don't know how to get that through to him especially as its very hard to get him to have a conversation and get my side across.

I don't even know if he is going to be willing to try but I feel if I do this and give him one last chance, I have done everything I can to try and make this work and I know that I can justify to myself my decision to leave.

I guess I am just to scared to walk away yet, even though I know in my heart of hearts that's probably what is going to happen eventually. Mr right could be out there for me and I miss him because I'm still in this relationship.

If someone isn't listening and isn't taking you seriously then an ultimatum may not be a good idea but, quite honestly, it is all you have left. It also means that you are not the one walking away, of course. This is psychologically important for you. If you give someone the choice to stay and shape up or to leave... and they leave.... then that is their conscious decision. You're going nowhere.