Advice welcomed please ! (reposted with clarification info)

[totalstress]

Hi All,

I didn't explain this fully last post so here it is with some clarification.


I?m divorced and I live with my new partner and my 2 children. I work full time, pay for all the child care etc and get nothing from my ex husband towards our children?s upkeep.

My ex husband is from another country, lives here, has a UK passport.

He gets £2,000+ a month, every month into a non UK bank account, from his government?s military as a payout due to an accident he was in years ago.

There is nothing wrong with him now but he still gets the monthly payment.

He is quite capable of working but chooses not to and is claiming UK benefits

He?s living at his friends house

He has a large CSA debt which he is not paying

He refuses to pay any maintenance whatsoever for his children, he has them every other weekend

I?d really welcome any advice and information on how I can get him to be responsible and contribute to his children?s care.

It just seem so unjust, he expects all the rights with none of the responsibilities

Does anybody have any idea of who I can turn to for help, anything I can do, any agencies to contact (have tried the CSA of course), etc etc. What about the tax people or the CAB. I?d appreciate any advice

Thanks very much

Stressed out

[dondon33]

CAB can't hurt, get all the info you need from them. I'm no expert but surely the money he has coming in is classed as an income so why have the CSA not done anything or advised you better.

You can't force him to be responsible/fair, he should want to provide for his children. Evidently he doesn't.

Sorry I can't offer you anything more hopefully someone with experience will come along soon and post.

Good luck xx

[totalstress]

Hello everyone,

Thanks for rhe posts so far

I wonder if anybody else could spare a minute to give me your views ?

I'm at the end of my tether here and don't know where to turn to for advice ;-(

Thank you !

[ToothbrushThief]

Is his debt 'registered' with the CSA?

If you have an amount set up by CSA but pay directly between you they will not do anything about a debt (is what they told me)

I have asked for all future payments to come through them and they will chase the debt*

*BIG caveat - it costs to chase the debt and they won't until it reaches a certain level. Sounds like you might have reached it though?

I am getting zilch and contacted CSA this week who are doing nothing -advised by call handler to ring repeatedly because my case will get ignored unless I do!!!

I have got my head around the fact that my ex will avoid paying any money for his DC. Always and forever. Either I fight, get stressed or I expect this and get on with life. Doesn't mean I am not trying but I've accepted there is almost nothing you can do with some men determined to never pay a penny