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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help dp kicked me out

18 replies

2Siobhan · 19/08/2012 16:22

What do I do? We had a row last night and he went home and locked the door. I just went back and he told me to go away and stop knocking on his door. I am at my mums now. Thankfully our kids were at my mums. Last time we rowed he tried to keep the kids I am so scared I will lose them. I am a sham so have no job and no home will he get them :-(

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 19/08/2012 16:25

Do you own or rent the house, and whose name is it in?

Original poster
2Siobhan · 19/08/2012 16:31

We rent but it is his place.

OP posts:
lowercase · 19/08/2012 16:34

call shelter, its an 0800 number.

they will be able to advise you.

sorry Sad

MiniTheMinx · 19/08/2012 16:44

So......we has locked his kids out as well, hasn't he???

I would call shelter and the local council and get you name down on the homelessness register because then you will be a priority to be housed WITH your children.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 19/08/2012 16:52

I dont know your whole situation but from just what you have posted I dont think he will get them.

You need to get your name down as homeless.

Do you get any benefits? Do they go into your account? You need to go see about what other benefits you are entitled to.

Im sorry this has happened.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 19/08/2012 17:14

I agree with the above posters. Ring Shelter and first thing in the morning ring the council YOU WILL be prioritised as homeless and re-housed with your children.

Then get the ball rolling get all your money separate from his, get your own bank account, contact child credits etc and tell them you've split.

You will be OK. You will eventually have your own place with your own name on the rent book and no fucker will EVER be able to make you and your kids homeless again.

longjane · 19/08/2012 17:15

just checking to see if you married to him as this will make different
dont think you are as you said DP

please do what the other says
and good luck

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 19/08/2012 17:17

He won't get the kids, why would he? He is just saying that to try to bully you and frighten you. How old are they? Are you OK at your mums for a few days? Without giving too much detail away, whereabouts in the country are you?

dequoisagitil · 19/08/2012 17:25

As the sahm, you have been main carer for the dc. He hasn't got a hope of having them full-time.

You'll be entitled to benefits and help with housing.

ErikNorseman · 19/08/2012 17:40

Is it private or council/housing association? can you prove you lived there? If yes, but your name is not on the tensncy then you can present as homeless and get housed. However if he will let you back in when he cools down then you need to think hard about whether you want to stay with a man who behaves like such a cunt when you argue.

Original poster
2Siobhan · 19/08/2012 18:34

Thank you for your support. It is Council I can prove I live there as I am on council tax ect just not tenancy. We are not married. All my Id is in the flat so don't know how to sort out benefits. I will make some calls tomorrow. This is probably a good thing as I am not sure I would have had the guts to leave but at least I would have had my stuff. The kids are 4 and 6 they are both taking daily medication which I can't get!

OP posts:
JsOtherHalf · 19/08/2012 18:38

If the children need their medication now then call the police? Failing that NHS direct for an Out of Hours GP who may prescribe what they need? There is no way a decent parent would endanger their child's health by locking them and their mother out!

tribpot · 19/08/2012 18:49

If they need medication today, that's your priority. JsOtherHalf is right, if you phone NHS Direct they will arrange for a prescription to be faxed over to your nearest pharmacy - there will be one open til all hours.

I would also seek the advice of the police under the circumstances.

Original poster
2Siobhan · 19/08/2012 18:52

I think it can wait till the morning and I will go to the gp. Nobody that we were with last night have even called to see if i am ok :-(. He has never been I interested in their medication and probably is not aware that they need it.

OP posts:
wannabedomesticgoddess · 19/08/2012 18:56

Someone may be able to correct me but I think you should call the police and ask them to escort you to the house and wait with you while you pack yours and the kids things.

He is withholding their medication and has made them homeless. It wont look very good for him in court at all will it?

bogeyface · 19/08/2012 19:20

I agree that you should go with the police to collect your stuff and the kids medication. Not least because the police will give him a roasting and also to prove that you didnt make yourself homeless by leaving him, as he may claim.

If the police go with you then you have proof that he kicked you out and is refusing you access. Otherwise it is just your word against his :(

bogeyface · 19/08/2012 19:21

Re: Custody, he deliberately witheld their medication, their clothes and their belongings, along with your clothes, money, ID and belongings and made you all homeless. He has no idea about their medication, wouldnt know what to give them and when and probably wouldnt bother to find out.

He is no more likely to get custody of them than I am.

olympicblues · 19/08/2012 19:24

Go to the council office in the morning, do not tell them your mum will take you in, because I did this and we ended up stuck at my mums for 15 months until we could afford private rental.

and yes definately get the police to go with you to collect belongings.

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