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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I'm officially a bunny boiler....

46 replies

ginnyjeans · 19/08/2012 11:10

omg. Alcohol is the root of all evil. I emailed an ex last night after I saw him in Town. Five times. Not once but FIVE effing times. I emailed him because I deleted his number so I couldn't text him. I can't get his bloody email address off my iPhone. He treated me badly. He treats everyone badly. He pursued me and even though I knew he was wrong for me I fell for him. I only saw him for four months. And it's been a year. And I think about him everyday. Its taken me longer to get over him than my ex husband who I have a child with!!! Is he amazing you may ask. No!!! He's Joe average! his life is horse racing, gambling beer and labels. He has no morals!! What is wrong with me! Please tell me I am not alone in saddoville? My dignity over the whole situation is now gone. I look sad and desperate. Boo to alcohol. And boo to iPhones!!!!

OP posts:

Heleninahandcart · 19/08/2012 16:06

Actually OP not a problem. You don't actually want him back, you got to tell him he is an arse and you know he won't mail back. Do not email again to apologise, just leave it

Now get into your email account via your laptop and delete and block his email address, and sync your phone. Job done.

HildaHotPants · 19/08/2012 16:12

I've done the same, well nearly the same, emails weren't out then! I left my hometown to live away, and really felt confused, because the night before I left he came to see me and invited me round (whilst g/f was away) to his 'for coffee'. Of course I didn't go, I'd moved on, or so I thought. This attention seemed to bring him to the front of my mind, so much so that I wanted him to know I was ok, so wrote him letters. Trouble is he never bothered to get back in touch. I was in quite a similar situation to Pinkforever.

Original poster

ginnyjeans · 19/08/2012 22:57

Just on an even funnier note - I mentioned one of the messages I sent went to the wrong guy (they have the same first name) and wrong guy emailed me back this am!! I dated this guy very briefly January 2011. Anyway, he obvs thought email was intended for him and emailed to say he was sorry and that he treated me badly and he agrees - he is a knob!!! Hahahaha. Oh deary me!

OP posts:

HildaHotPants · 19/08/2012 23:00

Cringeworthy!

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot · 19/08/2012 23:05

Yeah we have all been there! I sent someone I'd been in on 2 dates with a text that said tosser! For no reason!

There was one man who got the full force of my drunk texts.

You will feel all rubbish, also hangover dosent help but take comfort from the fact that your not alone!

lighthousekeeping · 19/08/2012 23:06

We've all been there. My ex has changed his phone number and, Im sure its because of me and the other five women he was dating at the time. Its mortifying. Once I lost my phone and I was so desparate to get hold of his number I ordered my old phone bills from two years previously and rang every single number on that bill. Needless to say, I got a massive bill that month and never did find his number. Thank god. I still do have a little look now and again on facebook.

Beamur · 19/08/2012 23:07

Delete his email address in case you should ever find yourself feeling pissed and nostalgic again!

RandomUsername · 19/08/2012 23:09

Hahahaha funny thread.

Ive done similar many times. I am now teetotal haha!

MableLabel · 21/08/2012 18:56

Oh girls, you are the best! I've been going through a crappy time for a long while now and I've done the loooong emails telling him some home truths and the blubbing like a waterfall while trying to pretend I'm big and brave but looking like a quivering little mouse, bleuch! I was determined to maintain my dignity but I didn't manage completely (shudder). We do the best we can and it's bloody nearly impossible when your heart's squished and dripping all over the floor like a melted ice-lolly. When I told my Mum I felt like an idiot she said something that stuck with me and made me feel like it was ok - she said 'you're not stupid, it just shows that you're a loving, caring person and you have feelings - that makes you a wonderful person, and he's the idiot'. Awww, Mum's eh!!

You gave me such a hoot - and I really needed it. If it makes you feel any better my very first love was when I was taking my A-levels (so veeerry young), and I was so keen to not lose this hot, mad, passionate bloke that I was having awesome sex with when we both went away to university that I suggested we should have a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CRINGE!!!!!!. You should have seen the look on his face. Of course I didn't want one, and if he'd said yes I would have run a mile and told him to sod off. I would have never done it in a million years, but at the time it sounded quite sane... I never did that again...and we split up after we'd been at different unis for a few months and I fell in love all over again within a matter of one or two weeks. He came to collect a few belongings from my house during one of the holidays and brought his Dad with him - I think he was scared of me by then. Every time I think of it it makes me laugh. Oh to be young and daft and in love again, rather than grown up having been crapped all over :(

Triffiddealer · 21/08/2012 19:06

Oh OP - the shame ! But so funny, especially the wrong guy admitting to being knob too. (Was he also a knob? or does he have low self-esteem?).

Maybe this is just what you need to stop yourself.

KatieScarlett2833 · 21/08/2012 19:30

I thank God that mobile phones were not around when I was in my dating years. Having to live with the folks and use the only phone, situated in the hall, where they could hear everything, certainly made you wary of drunk dialling.

I just know I would have done it too

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 21/08/2012 19:34

Have an ex ( from 20 years back!) who does this occasionally. I just ignore it and when we occasionally meet up (platonically!!!) neither refers to it. Just part of the 'new etiquette' - pretending drunken emails and texts never happened don't sweat!!!

CalpurniaRocks · 21/08/2012 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Offred · 22/08/2012 00:38

This is a funny thread. I don't even need to be drunk to do this...

When I am drunk I tend to kick men when there is inappropriateness (real or perceived)

Original poster

ginnyjeans · 22/08/2012 00:43

Mablelabel - glad we gave you a hoot! Triffiddealer - wrong guy was a bit of a knob to be fair. I only seem to date that kind!

Update is - intended recipient emailed back. Said he does feel awkward when he sees me but to please believe he's not being rude its just how he is and how he deals with things. I'm definitely stopping myself. Funny but I'm not looking at him with Rose coloured glasses anymore. He really isn't anything I want in a partner. It's just that
damn cute dimpled face and some memories of something that was
not real. He is actually just a serial philanderer, extremely
untrustworthy. Why do we always want the guy who is so very wrong
for us!!

I'm having to reset my iPhone to get rid of his email addresses (it has
a damn autofill feature, so simply deleting from gmail doesn't work),
and stay away from places I know I may see him. Hopefully we all get past and over it at some point (fingers crossed - without the need for Police intervention!).

OP posts:

DetClueso · 20/09/2012 02:09

OMG - thank you all for your postings - now I don't feel so alone anymore and I'm laughing! My story is that I met a guy online dating over a year ago and we were really into each other. It was long distance dating as I'm in Africa and he's in the UK. He suddenly dumped me in March by unfriending me on Facebook. I got so obsessed with him that i made a fake profile and put a pic of a gorgeous redhead living in London!! I made the profile really authentic and friended people from a country he used to live in and is still besotted with. Anyways, just over a month ago, he sent the fake a friend request and now we've been chatting and emailing all the time and he's falling for the fake big time!! It's a LONG story!! So now he's chatting up a storm everyday and even calling the fake darling - little does he know it's to the real me in Africa!! Lol. My plan was to dump him big time once he was smitten or even tell him he's really been in touch with me all the time just to really piss him off! I haven't decided the outcome yet. Only problem is that I'm having a blast chatting to him and am falling in love with him all over again!!
BTW - he IS a stalker - so I'm playing him at his own game!
WORST thing is - I DONT DRINK ALCOHOL!!!
So have I become a bunny boiler then??? Lmao
PS: Love all your stories :-)

SirSugar · 20/09/2012 07:32

many years ago I saw an EX go into local launderette. He left his wash on and went somewhere else so I went in and took his washing leaving a 'ransom' note for it as he wouldn't talk to me under normal circumstances.

WTF was I thinking?

DetClueso · 20/09/2012 08:29

I think we do these weird things because of a desperate need to maintain contact with them. It's like one is under some sort of spell or something. Lol.

Did the ransom note work?! Lmao

At least we are able to look back at these incidents and wonder WTF and have a laugh :-)

Rowanhart · 20/09/2012 09:32

Email again this morning 'was very drunk last night so please ignore emails. You won't be hearing from me again,'

Then both delete his email address AND make sure you have a phone you can take on nights out that doesn't have capacity. Or give your mobile to a friend to hide for you when you go ou. I've been there with this one.

alabasterangel · 20/09/2012 12:39

My (now ex) DH decided to text me from a works night out from the gents loo, as he was not enjoying himself. He texted something along the lines of...

'am utterly bored shitless with this bunch of muppets. Come and get me - I need a huge hug and kiss'

And then mistakenly sent it to someone else.... his BOSS, who is not only a very attractive female, but was also on the night out too..... our first names start with the same two letters... and he'd had about five pints, so he picked the wrong name from the contacts list.

Ooops!

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 20/09/2012 12:47

I'm so glad I don't text or phone people when pissed!

Feel for you all!

My DHs xgf (from about 6 months before me and him even MET) texted him the other day that she was really upset he'd forgotten her birthday (wtaf?!) they hardly ever talk and haven't seen each other in over 4 years! She doesn't even know we're married or expecting a baby as she'd kick off. Very strange imo! Lol

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