leave partner and have a termination??

[HeartMyDd]

Sorry for the downer guys....

Don't really know how to put my thoughts into words... my partner and I have been together only a year, I have a dd from a previous massively failed relationship with an absolute arse!! I'm now 16weeks pregnant with dp... not exactly planned although he was over the moon, my feelings for him aren't 100% there, he doesn't seem too interested in the pregnancy now, infact hasn't asked or said anything about it in the last couple of weeks :-/ we argue a fair amount and rarely see eye to eye. I find photos of him and his ex, even at his parents house!! Ermm how long ago did they break up ffs!! When we first got together she didn't leave him alone for absolute months and he always sticks up for her!! My family don't know I'm pregnant (thank god) although his does.

After my previous failed relationship I don't want to be left a single mum with 2 children with 2 fathers... admittedly my partner would be a good dad but doesn't mean much to me anymore. I'd happily live on my own with my lil angel of a daughter, I don't need a man.

I've had friends having a go so try and hold back calling me a fool... I'm fully aware. Any advise or anything would be amazing!! Just wanna cry :(

'However he does know where I'm at with the whole situation, he blames it on hormones, and then gets a tad angry and says it's my body and basically "whatever" ..... I know he wants kids, since we've been together he's been amazing my dd, and has always wanted his own....'

I'm possibly way off here, but you said at the start he was over the moon. Is it possible he has sort of detatched himself from the situation because he knows things have gone wrong, and it's not actually that he's not interested in the pregnancy but is leaving the decision making to you. I'm not quite sure what I'm saying, it's just sometimes I detach myself from stuff so as not to let it get to me. Perhaps he doesn't know how to deal with the situation? You sound like you want to take control, which is good, but perhaps he doesn't realise he can have an influence in what you decide.

Ignore the ex stuff. If anyone mentions the ex, tell them that is history.

I think it's good you're going to talk to someone. Look after yourself.x

OP, so glad you're going to speak with someone tomorrow.

Keep talking to your partner too.

Solid makes a good point about how he could be a good co-parent even if your relationship ends.

Like others have said, the real decision is if you want to have another child or not. Don't be scared about being a single mum with two kids to two different dads. Others do it, you will be fine. You survived when you split up from yor ex and you will again, you're a stronger person now.

Hope you get peace of mind soon, will be thinking about you. x

I can't find a link to the charity you've mentioned - options Tomoz?

My concern is that this is a pro-life organisation masquerading under the flag of impartiality

Have you called the BPAS advice line and will you be giving your nearest Marie Stopes clinic a call later today?

Tomoz is text speak for tomorrow. She means she has an appointment tomorrow woth a charity called options.

I don't judge people. I just wanted to add some encouragement. You say your not sure about being a single mum to two, whether you would cope. I have one DS also from an abusive relationship. I didn't think I would cope on my own, til I was given the push. I can honestly say, although I have a wobble I do cope. I also considered a termination not because my DS wasnt wanted but because my ex was still hitting and kicking me and I didn't want him in the middle. I am glad I have him now. If your worry is you won't cope, then don't cos us women adapt.

Thanks for more feed back ladies :)

Mrsparamada you may be right with the whole detach thing... I will speak to him when he gets back from work :) I hadn't thought of that tbh.

izzy it's called options and is based in glastonbury, Im not sure whether they have a web site, I only found them through a friend. Ill have a look.... let's hope they aren't what you said they may be as I'm just leaving to go there now!! If this doesn't work for me I will just ring Marie stopes when I get back.

Thinking of maybe just showing this thread to dp :-/ ....yay or nay???

I struggle to decipher some texts from friends and I very much doubt that I'll be recruited as a codebreaker any time soon.

I hope it went well for you today and I would advise you not to show this thread to your dp, if for no other reason than the fact you've disclosed that your feelings for him are beginning to border on the indifferent and, effectively, your relationship with him is at an end.

Been thinking of you, hope you got some help today.

I agree with izzy about not showing him the thread, but I think maybe you could make some notes from it to share with him.