Does/has anyone else do/done this? I feel the need to cut someone out of my life as gently phasing her out doesn't seem to work.
I will try to keep it as brief as possible: she was my best friend at school but did not behave in a very friend-like manner, I can see now on reflection. She was very manipulative and in a nutshell convinced me that no one else at school really liked me but that it was ok because she liked me. She used to stir a lot, and cause trouble for me with others. I would say, looking back that she probably told them that I didn't like them either. I did have one other group of friends at school, none of whom had anything to do with her, I can see why now, and I only saw them in lessons that my best friend wasn't in. If I was with her she would totally dominate me but would then say things about me and make nasty comments to get others to laugh at me. I think she has a lot of mental health problems to be honest.
I have always stayed in touch with her, out of habit more than anything I suppose. And in our adult lives she has done several things that I consider to be extremely hurtful to me. She is a very passive aggressive person, and is also a control freak, and she doesn't think twice before being unpleasant to me. I was less sure of myself at school and not confident, but I am much more confident now, but I don't think she realises this and thinks I am still oblivious to her ways. I would prefer not to give many examples as this may identify me but brief things that she has done in adulthood: sent my nasty texts about my DH, really laying into him (I think she is jealous as she is divorced and is unhappy in her life). Made unpleasant digs about me and my children on my Facebook page when I've posted photos of my children, just subtle things but I know there is a hidden meaning there iykwim. Sulked and refused to talk to me for a month because I couldn't go on a night out she arranged as my Dh was working away and I had no babysitter. She then after that month contacted me as if nothing had happened.
To sum it up, I think she is quite a toxic person and after seeing her or hearing from her, I always feel a bit het up and negative. Sometimes she'll do something lovely then do something horrible afterwards. She's not the kind of person that could be spoken to about her ways, as she blames everyone else for everything, is full of herself, and believes she could do no wrong.
So all I can think to do is cut her out of my life. It's going to be difficult though as we live in the same, fairly small, town. And no doubt she will spread poison about me. I can't say I care a huge amount about what others think about it though and if she spreads poison and they believe her then so be it.
I've today deleted her from my Facebook friends list and blocked her, and don't plan on replying to any texts in future, or answering any calls. I hope she gets the message, she is like a dog with a bone sometimes though.