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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My DH is addicted to web sex cam sites,I need advice,help

17 replies

lost888 · 17/08/2012 23:27

Hi,I'm new here,but am at wits end with my DH, he is so addicted to this one particular web sex cam site, he enjoys chatting to these cam whores regularly and says its just harmless fun,we constantly argue and it's not good for the children. I don't have any friends around me who I can confide in, they are overseas so they can't meet but he is willing to pay them money, it's been going on for so long now,I have no more energy to fight with him,so have turned to self harm to get rid of the anger and frustration inside of me,what he does on this site is breaking my heart, he says that there is something wrong with me and that I should see a doctor, I just want to know am I to blame for him going onto this site.Sad

OP posts:
BlackberryIce · 17/08/2012 23:28

No you are not to blame.... At all. He sounds beyond help to be honest

scarlettsmummy2 · 17/08/2012 23:30

You are not to blame. This is like an affair. I would leave him if he refuses to stop.

ErikNorseman · 17/08/2012 23:58

It's not harmless fun. He doesn't respect you. You don't have much choice here, either put up with it or leave :(

garlicnuts · 18/08/2012 01:41

He's chatting on pay-per-view sex cams? That's not quite right, surely Hmm

Basically he's cheating on you, regularly. He's telling you there's something wrong with you Shock because you don't like your husband spending his money on sex with other women. Well, I think you should see a doctor. It's about time you got the chance to tell somebody what a complete bastard your husband is.

Of course you're not to blame! How could you be?? You don't make him - ahem, chat to other women's fanjos, do you? He is a silly man - and quite horrid. He won't turn into the nice husband you deserve, you know. He probably pretended to be nice, to get you married and with children. He probably thinks he's got you trapped, but he's wrong.

How about posting a bit more about your circumstances? We'll see what we can do to help you get rid of him and his webcam.

Schoolworries · 18/08/2012 01:44

You are not to blame

How dare he do this to you and make out your the one with problem. The audacity!

What are gaining from this marriage? It sounds utter misery.

What will you gain if you walk away? I suspect a lot, in terms of being free from him and saving your mental health

dondon33 · 18/08/2012 04:18

You are definitely not to blame lost so don't for 1 minute believe his bullshit.
He is choosing to hurt you and continue doing this knowing you don't want him to. He's a selfish bastard. He IS cheating on you.

What have you done previously to get him to stop? has he had any counselling for sex addiction?

You may have to face the facts that he doesn't want to make things better or get any help and that either means leave him or put up with it.

Please stop hurting yourself sweetheart, he's not worth it. Can you get yourself some counselling, it will do you good to talk to someone in RL to help you deal with your anger and frustration.

Is he or has he been violent towards you? because I'd be tempted to cut the internet connection so that he can't access the site or remove the computer when he's out.

dondon33 · 18/08/2012 04:21
  • meant to add to the end of that - don't do anything to risk your safety if he is violent towards you.
AgathaFusty · 18/08/2012 07:35

He sounds manipulative and abusive. He also sounds like he is gaslighting you. It is bad that you are self harming because of his actions. It is worse that he refuses to acknowledge this.

You don't have to live like this. You don't have to stay with someone who is so utterly disrespectful towards you, and who is making you so unhappy. You acknowledge your arguements are not good for your children. You are right.

Do you live in the UK? If so, get yourself down to Citizen's Advice for help and advice on finances etc.

Do you have trustworthy family or friends to confide in?

sonialess · 28/12/2017 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Chestnutsroastingaway · 28/12/2017 17:45

Get rid ASAP he sounds a total arse

Not your fault one bit

Leave him and then he can carry on, if he’s doing this won’t be long before he’s sleeping with other women for real.

Move on you deserve so much better

ferando81 · 28/12/2017 17:49

He sounds pathetic and selfish .You need to leave

SandyY2K · 28/12/2017 17:55

Why haven't you left him?

You staying shows it's not a dealbreaker and he has no reason to stop because he has nothing to lose.

He isn't at risk of losing you...

Angelf1sh · 28/12/2017 18:01

Zombie thread. Why do people search for and restart these things?

NotTheFordType · 28/12/2017 20:13

Well in this case it was to drop a link to another site, thus giving google juice.

Angelf1sh · 28/12/2017 20:19

Well at least that makes sense I suppose!

Haffiana · 28/12/2017 20:27

I have reported it but the post is still there. Can others report - it might put a rocket up MNHQ.

Angelf1sh · 28/12/2017 20:34

Done haffiana.

It does always leave you wondering what happened to the op on these things.

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