Hi Changer - coming a bit late to this thread but I would suggest re-posting in Legal with a bit more info for the legal types (of which there are many great ones on MN) to help you get to grips with what's happened and what might happen. More info on these specific points -
- You mention that unsupervised contact has been ordered - was this at a final hearing? I presume that it was since you mention that witness statements were prepared and that you're appealing the judgement. (If by any chance, it was an interim hearing, when is your next hearing? Has the Judge ordered any further investigation?)
- So far as the abuse by your ex - is it all historical evidence, as in it happened during the course of your relationship? Is any of it documented by the police or by social services? Has any violence happened after the end of the relationship? If so, was that documented?
- Was any violence perpetrated against the children themselves, either during the course of the relationship or after it finished, during contact? Was that violence documented, reports to the police/social services/GP? Did you take photos of any injuries?
- Did you have a CAFCASS report? Did they take into account any and all evidence in points 3 and 4? What was their recommendation? It sounds as though it might have been in your favour since you say in your OP "no one expected this" of the order for unsupervised contact?
Sorry if I'm going over old ground by asking these questions - it's just that the answers may be helpful in placing the judgement within a context. You mention that your solicitor thinks the judge in question has form for being prejudiced against women - that's a pretty out there accusation to make about a judge and I find it very surprising. What's your solicitor's take on all this? What have they advised you to do with regard to contact? It would be better to take the advice of someone who can see the whole picture in terms of evidence of the abuse, rather than us who only have what you say - that's no reflection on you and certainly I'm not saying that you're wrong - just that it's very hard to give advice based on your OP and subsequent posts where we can't see everything that has been put before the court.
So far as the unsupervised contact itself is concerned, because the Order is quite new and ostensibly takes into account the current picture, in your solicitor's shoes, I might be advising you to comply. I know that sounds horrifying and I'm sorry but it is what I would do. However, given that you are appealing there may be grounds to suspend the current order until such time as you have an answer as to whether or not you are going to get a fresh hearing. This is a matter for your solicitor to explore with the court but I certainly would not accept it as a given.
I'm afraid I know nothing of the procedure for appeals which is why I suggested posting in Legal so others who do might be able to help. I do know that if you do not comply with the terms of the Order, he has the right to make an application to enforce the Order. It is entirely possible that this hearing might be before the same Judge if Father requests it so be aware of that. He has to prove you refused to comply with the Order rather than had a reasonable excuse for not doing so. He can ask that you be compelled to do some Community Service it is proven that you refused to comply with the Order - again, the more experienced legal bods will be able to tell you how likely it is that you'll be given community service and how many times you'd have to breach the contact order before that even happened. It used to be the case that breaches of a contact order would result in finding the respondent in contempt of court leading to short periods of imprisonment but that rarely happened and now the enforcement procedure seems to cover the punishment as being that of unpaid work or financial compensation if applicable. Others more experienced might be able to clarify this point.
In any event, this enforcement procedure will all take time and it seems in your case, the more you can delay the Father applying for enforcement the better since you are appealing the original order. Your solicitor should be able to tell you if you can officially put off complying until the appeal comes through. In the meantime, now might be the time to get some evidence together. If the original CAFCASS officer is on your side, can you ask them to work with the children in some kind therapy to see how contact might affect them? Is it worth talking to the school to see if they can get a counsellor or someone objective to talk to them about contact? How about the GP - could you get a referral from them? If your solicitor says you have to comply and you then employ deliberate delaying tactics, you might find that you prove father's case for refusing to comply so be very careful about putting him off unless your solicitor is 100% behind you.
I'm sorry I don't have better news - bear in mind this is just my take on this with the little information given. It's entirely possible that I've got the wrong end of the stick which is why it's so important that you get your solicitor to explain the detail of what might happen if you refuse to comply and how he/she can best protect you and your kids in that scenario. Also bear in mind that also I once practised in that area, my knowledge is not up-to-date so you shouldn't rely on what I say, particularly when it comes to refusing to comply.
I really do hope this all works out for you - I'd suggest making an appointment to see your solicitor early next week with a list of questions with regard to the appeal and enforcement of the Order so that you can be entirely prepared for the next couple of months and what they might bring.