How can I stop my estranged Husband spending money?

[uselfullife]

He has no idea how to stop spending
He complained so much about moving out expenditure
Have found out he spent thousands on hotel rooms. That could have been deposit for flat
He owes thousands in tax
He just spends and spends

you can't stop him doing anything

when you say 'estranged' - is he still living with you (complaining about a deposit for a flat)

he's away at the moment
but yes, hasn't moved out properly. Saying we don't have the money

he's angling for a reconciliation

are the debts in joint name?

how do you feel about a reconciliation?

there's no debts. The tax is just him.
He gets a substantial salary, which is even substantial considering he is paying back tax.
But it just slips through his fingers
If we were still together I think I would insist on taking over the money.

He has to get taxis everywhere, he is always out with work, drinks too much. Has to have the best of everything

He bought a friend a birthday present costing £350, cos it was the only thing available and he didn't want to go emptyhanded

I've just found out that he has sold something, got £3k, but still has no money

I need to buy ds's school uniform, and the credit card is maxed.

There is no underlying habit, gambling, drugs. I know

do you have your own income?

no
been looking for a job for a year

You need to seperate all bank accounts, get your own, and get him to pay maintenance in to it. If he isnt there sort the bills out, and go for full seperation or divorce, you need to take it legal, otherwise it could get worse and you will be liable for the bills.

Guilty is correct

you need to do this legally and upfront - get some space between you then see if there is a relationship you can build upon again

open your own bank account and have CB paid into that for a start up

See a solicitor; get your finances separate from his and him out of the family home as soon as possible. You can't control his spending, don't waste time trying.

He gifts a £350 present to a friend when his own kids have no school uniforms ?!!!!!!! WTAF!!

Well the £350 gift was a couple of months ago, wasn't even a best friend, he just couldn't find anything else

I hate this, I asked him one question about selling DS's stuff because I couldn't find it, and now he's gone all 'I'm doing the best I can, I'm sorry I'm shit father and provider.''

Why can't he see how much he spends?