Would REALLY apreciate some advice with child maintenance issue

[totalstress]

Hi all,
It?s my first post and I?d welcome some advice, I?ll be brief

I?m divorced and I live with my new partner and my 2 children

He is from another country, lives here, has a UK passport.

He gets £2,000+ a month, every month into a non UK bank account, from his government?s military as a payout due to an accident he was in years ago.

There is nothing wrong with him now but he still gets the monthly payment.

He is quite capable of working but chooses not to and is claiming UK benefits

He?s living at his friends house

He has a large CSA debt which he is not paying

He refuses to pay any maintenance whatsoever for his children, he has them every other weekend

I?d really welcome any advice and information on how I can get him to be responsible and contribute to his children?s care.

It just seem so unjust, he expects all the rights with non of the responsibilities

Does anybody have any idea of who I can turn to for help, anything I can do, any agencies to contact (have tried the CSA of course), etc etc.

Thanks very much

Stressed out

Sounds like a catch!!

Sorry OP but you're not selling him to us. You can't make a leopard change his spots. Run for the hills.

I'm not sure you can tbh. You can only control how you can react to him not what he chooses to do/avoid doing. If he has an income you could shop him for benefit fraud but tbh this is unlikely to change his personality fundamentally, people like this always find a way round the system.

I think the op wants advice on how to make him pay not how to get him back....?

I am assuming you are talking about your x and father of your children btw.

Reading your post again I am a little confused. You are talking about your DP right ? Does he live with you or his friend ?

Ah I think I get it. Sorry op :)

The CSA will catch up with him one way or the other.
The other day (literally) my DP came home and told me that the CSA had taken 500 pounds out of his wages without even telling him, which was when I found out he has a 21 year old son whom he has never met and didnt even know about until october last year, so he owes CSA arrears which will automatically be taken from his wages until 2016, so they will get him whichever way.
My dp is from France but has lived here for many years in the uk

I'm not sure the csa have any jurisdiction to touch money that is abroad tbh. I think you would have to take him to court and depending on what country the money is in the court may have jurisdiction over it.

Broodyandpoor, the csa can't just garnish wages, they only do that if the parent refuses to pay or sets up a dd that doesn't go through. Dont think your dp is being very truthful with you there!

They took the wages because he hadnt responded to their letters from october last year until now so they just took them (last resort)
However they will continue to take them now until 2016.

It is very unjust but in all honesty there isnt anything you can do if you have already tried the CSA

How does he justify this to you ?

And actually tbh I've recently been told that they can only take maintenance from the time they sent a letter to the absent parent asking for acknowledgement of paternity. If you avoid it it counts as accepting paternity unless you prove otherwise. I reckon it is unlikely he really never knew, sounds as though he is avoiding it.

Yeah, that isn't "without warning" is it!!!

Those letters explain carefully what happens if you ignore them!! If he had spoken to them, and the letters will have said this too, then his payments would be less!

I know, he is a burying his head in the sand kind of guy, that's his business, anyway my point is that the csa will catch up whatever happens

I'd say he is an actively avoiding his responsibilities then making himself sound better than he is guy and you would be best advised not to even consider having dcs with him tbh! It isn't true that the csa will eventually catch up, if the money is abroad then they may have no jurisdiction over it and the op may still be able to do something about it depending on which country it is in but it will likely involve going to court.

Broody - exactly the same thing happened to my Brother you're not "M" are you?

No Im not, maybe it's not so rare for men to do this kind of thing!
He and I dont have kids I'll be interviewing him for this position for at least three more years throughout my degree

Not so rare unfortunately!

Make sure you take his previous experience into account during the interview!

He gets £2000 a month and he's claiming UK benefits? MAKES ME MAD!