please help, I need to end a relationship and I don't know how

[redhappy]

He is a lovely guy, been very kind to me. We've been together for almost a year, early on it felt very serious and we discussed children marriage etc. But recently I have come to realise he's not the right person for me to spend the rest of my life with. We have sooo much in common, but the differences in our attitudes to life, to bringing up children (I already have 2, he doesn't have any), and gerneral behaviour, have started to show.

Previous to him I've had 2 long term relationships, both quite EA.They were so tough to leave, and in the end it was my fear and anger at the situation and their treatment of me that gave me the strength.

This is totally different and I have no idea how to handle it! I still like him, I just don't want to be in a relationship with him. I wish we could still hang out now and again and be friends, but I realise this isn't a fair expectation at all.

We've arranged to meet on sunday. I don't think he's got any idea how I'm feeling, how on earth do I do this???

Do I meet on sunday as arranged, then drop the bombshell? Do I do it on the phone to save us having to meet up? He is going away on business tomorrow for a few days so it's not fair to him to do it now is it?

I'm having panic attacks every time I think about it.

Look, don't panic. Relationships do end, he will already know that.

Please don't overplay the 'its not you, its me' card. I've done this in the past and it just prolongs the agony, as they think you don't mean it and they can talk you round.

It's hard, but you do need to be clear that this relationship is not right for you, and that you don't want to be in it any more. Be kind, but be honest.

Good luck.

Oh, you poor thing. I've been in a similar situation and I didn't handle it well at all, I allowed the situation to drag on and on and it was awful for both of us. If I could go back and do it over, I would tell him immediately, on the phone if necessary. If you really do want to end it, and it sounds like you are very clear that you do, I would strongly advise you to do it before he goes away, so you don't have to stew until Sunday. Don't worry too much about him - be as kind as you can on the phone but if you don't want a future with him, the kindest thing is to let him know straight away. Who knows, his future dreamgirl could be waiting for him on his business trip, and unless he's free to meet her, he will never know. Good luck!

be kind, but be honest yes this is how I try to be in life.

Still terrified though! In your opinion, when should I do it? I feel like I just don't know the rules.