how to split up....

[mrskenyon]

we are so out of love with each other
it is all a game of pretense

i cant bear the thought of another day together
but the reality of splitting up is so grim

we have a beautiful home and garden, i am a full time parent
he has a very mediocre salary

just looking at what our money cld buy if we split it in half
so awful and depressing
cannnot imagine living in a place like that
and what sort of work could i get when i haven't worked for so long

partly feel it wd be better to kill myself so that mortgage is paid off
and i dont have to cope with the grimness of it all

wish i cld turn back time and change everything
but i cant

wish i was j-lo who just walked away from marc antony in a flash
set up another home, brought in nanny, cook and gardener
and happy easy days

but my real life simply aint like that

i am quite fragile and find the whole being adult thing really hard

plse help...

what on earth can i do....

I'm sorry do you have children?

Really feel this. I'm sorry.

Sometimes we have to smash things up to build something new. But it's being brave enough to take the first step.

Do you have family and friends around you that you can confide in?

I've been a lone parent. I left my ex with the house, took my DD and rented a lovely little flat. Owning your own property is not the be all and end all. Your happiness is more important. It's scary, I know but IME I was so much happier without the constant tension and the arguments.

Start planning.

Go to CAB and sew what you would be entitled to. Don't worry so much that you haven't worked for a while. Just start applying for jobs like waitressing/shop assistant/cleaner. Even if you don't get the job it will build your confidence.

Start looking at rental properties, get advice about your financial. Once I had done that I started to imagine my new life away from ex. It still took a little longer to build up the courage to go but that was a confidence issue.

Have you seen your GP? You sound depressed.

Sorry for typos, on my phone

thankyou for your replies, so appreciated, mumsnet is the perfect confidante,
as not atall appropriate to confide in family/friends re this.

yes we have two children under ten and the thought of taking them away from their home/playgarden simply breaks my heart.

yes , i will start looking tho, into rentals, very simple jobs, andvisit the CAB, to perhaps build my confidance around this heartbreaking drama.

just feelingso sad and lost. its all such a horrid mess.

There's no easy solution to this, but I know your children would rather have a happy mum than a nice garden.

Take care of yourself xxx

Hi, not much practical help I'm afraid but wanted to say hello, I find myself in very much the same boat. I know it's over really but I don't know what to do next. My DD's are 10 and 7. Oldest just about to start secondary school so this feels like really shitty timing. The entitled to website is a good place to start. Rightmove for property rentals. Renting is not all bad, can sometimes be better than buying. Can you sort out any counselling to help you sort your head out a bit? Do you have a close friend you could confide in?