One year on...

[normaleggy]

One year ago today, I left my cheating, unreliable, controlling husband and have never looked back. I am now renting a house in a beautiful village with my friends and family close by. I've been in touch with a lot of my old friends who he had alienated us from and made some new friends along the way. My self esteem and confidence are gradually coming back and I am loving my independance.

However, my stbxh has decided not to see the kids anymore, they are asking after him, I don't know what to tell them and it breaks my heart every day. Despite all the fabulous and positive things that are happening to me, that is what I focus on most. It's like even now, he is controlling my happiness.

How do I get myself out of this and just embrace what I have?

How old are your DC?

DD is 4.6, DS is 3 in a couple of weeks. That is also making me sad, thinking about his birthday and that he won't see his daddy.

THis probably wont be popular on here but.....he is a lying abusive controlling man. Do you realy want him in your kids lives? He may have actually done you a favour, although I realise it doesnt feel like it now.

I had to deal with this with my eldest and all I could say was that I didnt know why Daddy didnt come round anymore but that I loved him and would never leave him. After a while he stopped asking, then he asked a few times but in a "I wonder...." kind of way rather than in an upset way.

I'm sure you're right Bogeyface, I think I just feel sad that that's how their dad had turned out and that they will never have a relationship with him.

in your shoes, I would be glad that the contact petered out too

just let it die it's natural death

You're sad because of the man he turned out to be, and are wishing your children had a better father. Thats understandable. But the man he is is no good for them, so yes be sad that he turned out to be a poor father but dont be sad that he is no longer around.

Did that make sense? I know what I mean!

Makes perfect sense!