Overbearing parents/unsupportive of parenting etc.

[toptramp]

My dad and his gf are lovely don't get me wrong but I feel somewhat exhausted after returning from a week holiday with them.

DD and I have been going on holiday with my parents for a week every year. Mum passed away and dad's gf came along. He was originally going to take just dd and I but I saoid he could bring his gf as we get on.

Trouble is she is a bit obsessed with my food intake. I recently lost a lot of wieght through healthy eating and excersise rather than a strict diet. This was before she got with my dad (she knew me then). She is a great cook and I love her food but I have cut carbs etc. She spend a considerable amount of time on the holiday questioning me about my diet (I am not on one; I just eat med/low carb with treats) She then started saying that we are both on a diet ....er.......When did I say so? She says things like 'we can't eat this and we can't eat that.' Err...again...when did I say I couldn't eat anything? I sometimes feel like she juust likes to cook to show love but fgs; back off my food intake. I am exhausted by it and happy to be home where I don't have to explain my dietry choices. I find her a bit smothering tbh.

My dad is lovely and the main guy in dds life as her dad is not around. Unfortunately he is now like a substitute dad and he is very soft whereas I'm quite strict. Weve had a number of incidents whereby he has criticised my parenting in front of dd. I don't feel great about going on holiday with him anyway. It is lovely but I also feel like a child again and a bit disempowered. It is lovely for dd to have these childhood memories as I used to holiday with grandparents. Thank goodness I am able to go away with dd alone this year so we don't have to have a general consensus about everything.

I feel so ungrateful but can't explain why i feel this way. Last time when I went away with dad without his gf we didn't argue at all. This holiday I just felt quite ratty and bickered with him a lot.

I should explain I have only been going on hols with dad since dd was born. Before then I travelled the world alone.

Sounds like your Dad's girlfriend is trying a touch too hard tbh! Have they been together long? She may be a bit insecure and trying to be your friend and keep you onside. With any luck she'll relax a bit for you soon!
A for your Dad you need to be tough with him and make it known that he needs to back you up infront of DD whether he agrees with you or not. Your daughter, your rules!

It's difficult not to feel reduced back to a sulky teenager with parents sometimes. I love mine dearly, but they drive me crazy at the same time.

It's good that you can go alone this year.

I think your dad's gf is just trying to give you something in common and be friendly, but I can totally understand why you feel alienated by what she said. But tbh, I daresay anything she did would probably grate a little. I feel intensely irritated by my stepdad a lot, mostly irrationally.

I think your best bet is to accept that sometimes they will grate on you and irritate, if they're probably doing their best. Your dad shouldn't criticise your parenting, but he's stuck in a mindset of knowing better, being the adult and perhaps has had to pick up the pieces a fair bit, then it's hard for him to see you as you are now.

Thanks all. I do think my dad's gf is just trying to be mates. I have always been her friend. She feels a bit guilty as she knows mum died. I don't have anything against her really; she's lovely as is my dad.