AIBU?

[MarigoldsInTheWindow]

In thinking that the advice on this site, and the experience many women on here show is that they just get on with things as if they were single parents despite they have partners?

i see it in my own life so its not a criticism.

my p is at golf with work.
Hes not called at all all day, after many reqs to call me he did.
Answered phone, yeah what.
i asked where he was (golf then bbq at work mates house after which he goes home), he says what shall i pass you round to everyone here?
i said, no, are you going to be out all night then (i had wanted to go out this eve). He just said dunno, hardly spoke. hes obv pissed.

I just hope he dousnt come and try and throw up on me again like the other week.

why are men such knobs.

Evening. We're moving this thread to Relationships now.

Marigolds, he sounds like a total waste of space to me. He is disrespectful and takes advantage of you. You are getting nothing good from this relationship. The longer you let this go on, the more of you he will wear away until you don't have the energy to fight your way out.

Please talk to him about how you feel, give him some ultimatums and stick to them. Give him a timeframe, specifics about what you want to change, throw in a couple of things that you will do to soften the blow (not sex, but some 'extra effort' in other areas so that he believes you are also taking some responsibility) but ultimately if he doesn't sort himself out, get rid.

I am newly separated and I can assure you that it is easier being a single parent than being married to someone who drags you down and makes your life harder. People saying "its nothing like the same thing" are right - its worse because you are constantly being let down by the person who is supposed to support you and you are wasting energy on him that should be used for you & your DCs. My H also worked away a lot, so I've tried it all different ways - being single I am happier, more confident and I get time to myself when they DCs are with him. It doesn't have to be like this you know.

x

Marigolds what was the big thing that was mentioned earlier? I ask because in my case I moved countries for my DH and he has always treated that as a big deal. He gave up smoking the day I moved to prove how bid a deal it was to him. I don't resent moving in part because he has always respected what I gave up.

This man is a cocklodger...

You will be happier when you kick him out. From experience being a single parent is not half as hard as living with a knobhead man.

thats what i mean, its the being let down that makes it so hard.
people say just act as though you are doing it all yourself and concentrate on your life but why am i doing that if i am in a relationsip?

its the expectation, the hope he will do this or that and the dissapointemnt when he dousnt.
he thiks nothings wrong, he is rude. fs everyother word, i hate it.
actually hurts my ear!

Exactly. I have a lot of sympathy. If you are with them you feel they should be helping but when they don't it feels like a slap in the face. You end up organising yours and the children's lives around them and their crap which makes it hard but also really frustrating. My xp leaving made my life literally 100 times easier and happier.

Me too Offred. Mine wasn't even that bad by the standards of some blokes on here, but he was just useless enough to make my life more difficult by his very presence. Since he has gone I am relaxed and positive (my house is not so tidy, but I don't care!) I have time for hobbies (and possibly dates!) and I feel that I am in control of my life again for the first time in years.

You only get one shot at life Marigold, be a little bit selfish and make sure you are happy. If you are not, then change something.