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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to respond?

8 replies

Kernowgal · 11/08/2012 12:40

Bit of backstory - five or so years ago I had a few ONSs with a bloke I knew from uni. After the first he behaved like a complete twat despite the flirtatious buildup, but I was smitten. Eventually I got over it but we continued to have the occasional night together whenever he was visiting our group of friends (he's from up north). After that first time I got sensible and knew it was just a shag, but it was a good one so I was happy with that and didn't want anything else.

Over the years we've stayed in touch and often sent the odd drunken text which usually developed into sexting. Then he and I both got into relationships and obviously the sexting stopped. We're now both single again but I have long since ceased to have any feelings for him. A fortnight ago he texted me, while drunk with a mutual friend, and the mutual friend also sent me a text saying "XX asked me to say he thinks you're special". I didn't get the texts till I woke up and so replied innocently saying "speshul more like" and then got another one later on basically saying "don't read anything into it, it was [mate's name] who sent it". It pissed me off because I hadn't done anything to merit the response, and he seemed to be saying "don't get your hopes up" when I don't have any feelings for him at all! Then last night I got a text asking why I'd not been in touch or liked any of his FB stuff, had he offended me yadda yadda and I am torn between not responding at all or giving him a piece of my mind.

I want to say he's a nice bloke but this is all so childish, arrogant and frankly disrespectful to me. On the other hand I wonder if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. WWYD?

OP posts:
OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 11/08/2012 12:42

I think best think to do is ignore. Leave it now. Move on. Otherwise you're fuelling the situation.

FaffTastic · 11/08/2012 12:47

Ignore, ignore, ignore. He's just wanting contact from you to fed his ego and to affirm that you have feelings for him. When you do reply he doesn't seem interested so definately ignore on this occasion and let him play his games with someone else.

Notasdaftasilook · 11/08/2012 12:49

Don't respond

Kernowgal · 11/08/2012 12:49

Lovely, thanks ladies, I haven't responded, mainly cos I couldn't be arsed!

OP posts:
dequoisagitil · 11/08/2012 12:51

Oh ignore. Whatever you say or do, he may well think you're carrying a torch for him all the same. Maybe he's looking to get you back as a sexter or fuckbuddy.

The best way to keep dignity is not to rise to it.

ImperialBlether · 11/08/2012 13:10

Oh my god, if a man asked me why I hadn't liked his Facebook comments, I would think he had totally lost his mind. Is he a teenage girl, and a young one at that?

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Always remember if someone treats you badly and yes, do hold it against them.

Kernowgal · 11/08/2012 13:18

It did strike me as incredibly needy - I had a quick look on his FB page and he hasn't put anything on there for ages, so nothing for me to 'like' even if I wanted to! Worra tool.

He's just worried about losing his back-up - he obviously thought I'd always be there to fall back on if his other options didn't work out. I'd rather be alone forever than be someone's back-up option.

OP posts:
LemarchandsBox · 11/08/2012 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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