Why m I attracted to drug using loser

[Beaverfeaver]

I have a lovely DH.
been together a long time, only recently married though.
He has good job, looks after me well and loves me dearly.
However, I am attracted to a drug using younger guy. Who is pretty much a man child who still gets his mum to do everything for him.

I have had so many stupid thoughts going through my mind. Thinking about if I still love DH, if I should leave him for this OM.
I know deep down that it's stupid, reckless and would cause so much pain and problems in the long term.
But I still can't seem to help the way I feel about him.
Almost thinking that I could be there for him and help him.
Even when OM is a complete dick because of the come downs, I still want him.
I am so so stupid.
Not sleeping properly now either which is making things worse.

You sound like you are bored with your lovely dh.

Sort that out and leave the drug using loser well alone.

How is following any so called lust for this man going to end well for ANY of you?

Get rid of him - no contact - nothing. Focus on your dh. Honestly OP you are being nuts.

I wish I could cut all contact. I work with him :(
Started off as really good friends. Only when we got closer did I learn about his 'issues'
How can I stop the boredom/get a spark back with DP?
I have been feeling this way for about 4/5 months now and it's draining and making me miserable

Just to add: my DH has let himself go over the years. He's is self concious about it and tries to do something about it, but still eats and drinks too much.
I think this has meant that I am not as attracted to him as I was in the beginning.
OM on the other hand works out and is tall, handsome and muscly

Please please reread your last post. How can you possibly say that the other man takes more care of himself..? He is a drug user!

I feel very sorry for your DH that you feel this way about him.

Your feelings for the OM sounds like a crush (maybe the danger element is exciting). But if you act on it you are putting yourself in a nightmare situation.

Spend your time/energy revitalising your relationship with your DH.

How can I stop the boredom/get a spark back with DP?

By seeing the drug using loser for what he is, namely, a drug using loser who's so divorced from the real world he can only get his kicks through artificial means.

There's nothing romantic about snorting coke, mainlining heroin, smoking dope. And your hero still needs to have his arse wiped by his mum? Not exactly the man of anyone's dreams, is he? More like the stuff of nightmares.

Rescue him? You haven't got a snowball in hell's chance of becoming his drug of choice but he'll use and abuse you in much the same way as he uses and abuses whatever substances he's devoted to.

Join him in his squalid hell if you must, but at least have the decency and honour to set your dh free so that he can be rescued from you by another woman who'll love him passion, respect his ethics, and value his unique qualities in a way that will make the time he's spent with you seem like a bad trip.

It very much sounds as if you need your brain arse wiped. Change your job or change your attitude because your dh doesn't deserve to be treated with such contempt by anyone let alone his 'd' w - and I sincerely hope you don't have any dc.

Jeez, are you so lacking in personal integrity that you need to be told to get real and grow up by others?

Give it time. The OM will soon look what he is - and it won't be a very pretty sight.

If your dh has let himself go, why don't you both focus on getting both of you fit and healthy and sexy and glowing just like the lovely olympians?

Kick drug using loser out of your head and get you and dh high on fitness and vegetables (christ, I sound like a right wanker, but you get the gist).

You and dh need to reconnect.

Stay away from the utterly waste of space younger man. Get another job if you have to but listen to izzy she speaketh sense.

Drug using is nothing but trouble but being a Mummy's boy as well - oh no, OP, run as fast as you can. Agree with Claudia - hatch a fitness plan for you and DH to follow together.

Two words, lust and escapism.

Your bored with your comfortable marriage and your dh doesn't make you tingle anymore. Invest the energy your putting into thinking about the loser into thinking about ways you could spark up your marriage.

Next time you look at your husband look into his eyes ignore his body and think of all the amazing things you've shared together. You could do with a hobby your both interested in to get the fun and excitement back.

Extreme, but bear this in mind

planetoddity.com/faces-of-meth-addicts/

Jeez inyourhippyhat, those pics are so shocking and so sad.