Superwoman

[Sonowwhathappens]

That is what I feel I need to be. Had to call police tonight who made my husband leave or be arrested.
I don't deserve this life & neither does ds.

Sounds like you've been really couragous. Well done, that must have taken an immense amount of guts.

Thank you. I feel kind of numb tbh.

I feel so conflicted. He is my husband. I've put up with so much & I don't understand why.
There is so much history of oddness with him,I don't know what to think. To arrange my life just seems a huge bloody task.

Little chunks at a time. You will find you are more capable than you know.

I see myself as a confident strong woman but this whole relationship has been so exhausting. He is a compulsive liar,he ignores me,has alienated me away from friends,is frankly a nightmare & I'm really really worried I'll take him back.

Perhaps you should talk to Women's Aid and get yourself some support, so you can set boundaries and get youself out of the mindset where he has control.

If you're scared he'll talk you into taking him back, when you know it's wrong, believe this: you do not have to see or speak to him alone.

Contact with children can be arranged through third parties, financial/legal stuff the same. You do not owe him explanation or a chance to redeem himself.

Hello OP

No advice as such but stay on this thread. Ladies with brilliant advice and who have been in your position will be along very shortly xx

Basically he has been doing the ignoring thing for about 2 months. Literally wears ear phones all the time we are together. I've tried being nice/quiet/ignoring him/imploring/pissed off & angry. Tonight he came home & it was ok,I made dinner & gave him his first. He took one mouthful & carried it back to the kitchen. I hadn't done anything amazing,just some fresh pasta. I asked him to hold ds whilst I had mine. He ignored me & ds tried to crawl straight onto my lap. I carried my dinner to kitchen & asked why he was being such a wanker. Looking at his reaction,I put ds into his cot & came threw & tried to pull the earphones off,I find being ignored so demoralising & I just lost control. He called me a fucking bitch & kicked out. He was so angry.
I basically picked up ds,the buggy & struggled out of the flat crying my eyes out.

God does that even make sense. My life feels like eastenders

Yes it makes sense. You know you don't deserve this and neither does your ds. Having only been about 12hrs out of my marriage to a totally unreasonable H I don't have a lot of advice. BUT I know that even though I am scared and nervous and confused about the future, there is a little tiny bit inside of me that is rejoicing because I know I have done the right thing and given time that voice will get louder and louder until I am living MY life again.

You can do what you need to do....lean on MN if you need to!!

I apologise for the mushiness I am feeling a tad overwhelmed at a long emotional day!

I hope you find the strength you need.

Contact Womens Aid, they are fantastic.. They have loads of resources that can help you. They sit and listen for hours. They never judge.

You have done the right thing. You were in a terribly abusive relationship.
It's natural that you feel confused ,scared etc but take small steps.You will be fine. I promise .

Did the police refer you to a dv counsellor?

Visit www.womensaid.org.uk to locate your nearest branch and give them a call during usual office hours later today - or ring the 24/7 freephone national helpline.