I've a lovely DH who I'm v sexually attracted to and have 2 DCs, 2 year old and 6 mths. Both breastfed. Stopped feeding 1st child but still feeding second and hope to for another yr. Not been a time when not been breastfeeding since first child born.
Breastfeeding had a major impact on my libido first time round. No interest in sex and, more to point, absolutely zero lubrication so v v difficult to have sex. KY jelly etc just didn't work. (Sorry for tmi!) We did find a way in the end and got bit easier, hence got pregnant again! Finding same prob now 6 mths after DD2.
Took 10 mths to get a period after DD1 and only after then cd I feel my body slowly starting to feel a bit more normal again arousal wise after that time when I started ovulating. Expect it'll take the same amount of time again this time. Because I got pregnant again though, I don't really know how my body would have gone, sexually, if normal circumstances.
This is where I'd like some words of wisdom pls?!
Got our baby sleeping in our room and it has to be silent when we go to sleep after her last feed of night so as to get her to sleep. I then get woken up for a few feeds during the night still.
Utterly knackered and know this isn't life ever after. Baby will go to her own room during the next 6 mths and hopefully night waking goes away like our DD1's.
I'm busy with the kids all day and so don't think that much about it but really, I feel pretty crap about my relationship, sex wise. DH and I had the most amazingly charged sex life before kids came along. Now there's just nothing and he doesn't even really try with me anymore as he knows it such hard work.
I don't even think about sex now ever. ( I used to. Used to ALL the time!)
It's not me feeling self conscious about my body. Luckily been left largely unscathed by pregnancies and look pretty much like I used to. It seems to be utterly hormonal as I just don't even think beyond being a mummy now.
I'm a SAHM. My life is totally focussed on being a mum and everything I do all day is about the kids. I have no family near us who can babysit or help generally. My DH works long hours. Leaves house before 7am and back after 8pm. No fault of his own. He has demanding job (I used to have same job so totally understand the pressures) and I don't give him stick for that at all as that's not an issue. Only mentioning this for you to appreciate there's no let up in me being 'mummy' 24/7.
I listen to myself sometimes when I spk to DH and just think what a bore I've become. I've nothing to talk about except the kids. I'm everything I wd have laughed at before I had kids. Even piss myself off with all the nagging and general chat. God knows my DH must be bored of me despite his assurances to the contrary (bless him).
After all this info, guess what I'm asking is - do you ever really 'get it back' to how it was pre kids and stop being a neurotic mum or is it a different life forever now?
I'd like to be the carefree drunken nymph that I used to be.
Understand that right now, it's the hardest.
Be gentle with me. You know what answer I'd rather have... But please - just be honest?
Thanks. X