what was it like between you and DH soon after you married?

[skiesmylimit]

Just wondering, we keep arguing. We got married on the 28th july.

We have some stress, 2 young kids (3 and 14weeks). We are putting through applications to buy a house.

We just had a HUGE argument, I was cooking dinner (as usual), he was sat playing on his phone. I said to him I don't think the chips are perfect as their oven ones, he turned n said well don't put them on my plate, which I then replied why not? Do it yourself if your not happy with it. He then tried to push me out kitchen so he could finish it off, I said no I've done it and don't push me, so he started screaming F*ck off to me, I said don't say that to me, he kept repeating it to me, so I lost it and threw his dinner in the sink!!

He's now stormed out and god knows where he's gone, dressed up :(

It was a very stupid argument. But I don't think he should talk to me like that.

Have a look at the links at the top of this thread, and see if he does or does not seem to fit the bill.

^^ +1 for what TheSilverPussyCat said.

When people talk about the first year being the worst when you get married, they're often referring to the little things - what you do on Sundays, how you squeeze the toothpaste, your outlook on money, whether you like to wash up once a day or whether you plump every cushion as soon as you stand up. If you've already lived together, that's mostly dealt with. You've had your disagreements.

It absolutely does not refer to

1. someone selfishly waiting for you to serve a meal without so much as offering to hold a pan,
2. aggressively rejecting the food you've taken time to cook,
3. pushing you,
4. screaming abuse at you.

Stress- no. Getting used to it - no. Will it get better ? no (very sorry). :(

I don't think he should talk to me like that. ? you're right. It shows a very high degree of contempt for you and your efforts. I know you fought back but that doesn't make it OK.

It's a lot to take in about someone you love though. Take care for now... and take your time.

Ours was a bit unusual, because we met, had sex and moved in together in about 4 hours and were married 3 months later so our first year together was actually spent getting to know each other.

Your relationship does not sound good and you are not doing yourself any favours trying to put it down to first year of marriage teething problems.

he should not be putting his hands on you and yelling fuck off at you.

Over bloody oven chips? I mean, come ON. That's not right and you know it.

I've been married 10 months now and our marriage has not been like you describe. We have had arguments about little stuff like DH leaving dirty clothes on the floor but mostly we are quite loved up as we were at the beginning of our relationship.

We are both in our early/mid 30s and were together 5 years before we got married.

I would be very concerned about the behaviour you describe. You can't live the rest of your life like that.

Don't discuss anything when 'tipsy' as if there is disagreement it will be inflamed.

But try to sit him down and discuss relationship when you won't be interrupted, also give him some warning that you want to talk so he can think what he wants to say. So that it isn't in the heat of an argument. Maybe you can both get things off your chest.