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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The s just hit the fan

6 replies

namechange87 · 08/08/2012 02:08

I posted earlier about how I wanted to leave but had no money. Im really just needing to vent. P just came in from yet another night out and got into bed and started the most horrible argument. Finished with him saying he can't stand being around me and he hates me. He is now sleeping in the living room.

Two weeks ago we both decided to give our relationship one month to see how things were going. I obviously want out now but I have, hand on my heart, tried to meet his half of the arrangement (being more affectionate - meaning sex, try not to moan too much. That's about it really) its been tough especially as he hasn't changed a bit. He's still rude and down right horrible to me most of the time, still lazy, doesn't help at all, goes out all the fucking time and is horrible with money. Most importantly to stop seeing this ow outside of work, which he hasn't and doesn't see it as a problem. I know he isn't exactly asking much of me but it's so hard to want to be nice to someone who quite frankly treats me like shit.

OP posts:
namechange87 · 08/08/2012 02:12

Meant to say the argument was started with him basically having a go for no reason. I'm not perfect to live with, I know that but there is no need for me to be spoken to like that for no apparent reason. Especially as I was asleep when he came in. And I didn't do my usual - crying, saying sorry. I stood up for myself. I'd never have done that Weeks ago. Reading other people's threads on mn has helped me a lot.

OP posts:
carefulobserver · 08/08/2012 02:48

"And I didn't do my usual - crying, saying sorry. I stood up for myself. I'd never have done that Weeks ago. Reading other people's threads on mn has helped me a lot."

Way to go OP! Noone deserves to be treated like that! I wouldn't stay if I was in your situation but I understand it's nonetheless hard if you've been together a long time and had good times as well as bad. Don't have much more in the way of advice but glad you're learning to stand up for yourself!

ErikNorseman · 08/08/2012 03:15

I'm glad you are developing an exit plan. Of course you can't stay with him, he has no respect for you :( how horrible to be woken up to get ranted at. That's really abusive.

DippyDoohdah · 08/08/2012 07:53

He sounds vile op...walk away and don't look back..sees nothing wrong with still seeing ow?! Run! X

namechange87 · 08/08/2012 08:17

He is pretty vile. He isn't sleeping with ow, it's emotional. I've told him it makes me upset/angry though. I'm working on my exit plan. He'll probably be quite happy for a few days after I leave to be honest, then he'll realise that he has fucked up. Most of the problem is he refuses to grow up.

OP posts:
CogitoErgOlympics · 08/08/2012 10:01

Keep working on your exit and keep him in the spare room. Expect a rerun of whatever he normally does after a bout of bad behaviour and see him for what he is rather than keep thinking you have to change. Well done for standing up to him rather than caving. Once you turn that particular corner, the rest is relatively easy. Good luck

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